First off - congratulations to everyone who won NaNoWriMo! I wish I could say the same, but at this point, I think it's safe to say that I gave up about a week and a half ago. It just wasn't the same for me anymore. Writing had turned into drudgery, and although some people are able to push through that kind of thing, I can't. It doesn't matter how many word wars I do or how many "Don't give up!" entreaties are thrown at me, after a certain point I just ... shut down. The muse packs up and flies to Hawaii and can't be coaxed to come back no matter what I say to it.

NaNo went great for about two weeks. I was clicking along, meeting my daily word counts, all was hunky-dory. Then I got The Migraine Sent From Sith Hell, and was literally flat on my back for four days straight doped up on enough pain medication to knock out a killer whale. Another week was spent recovering from that, during which time I realized that the headache had somehow managed to completely rewire my brain. The inspiration for Desert Rose was no longer in the forefront the way it had been. Instead, To Ignite the Stars attacked.

To this day I'm still not sure where my TIS muse had been hiding, nor where it got its sudden burst of rabid determination. All I do know is that suddenly TIS was all I could think about. I seriously even dreamed about that thing. I had to start work on it, and fast, but that meant the possible sacrifice of Desert Rose and NaNo. Either that or working on both projects concurrently, which was something I was just not prepared to do. I possess neither the time nor the creative energy to make that possible. So, I had a decision to make.

In the end, I dropped NaNo. Gave up on it completely. This is unusual for me, in that I don't consider myself a quitter. And in all honesty abandoning NaNo felt an awful lot like quitting, more than it should have. But I dealt with it because what could I really do? The battle lines were drawn, and TIS was winning. No choice.

Better luck next year, I suppose.

One last thing before I dash off to bed - I know I promised some of you that there would be a TIS update tonight, but sadly that's just not going to happen. I'm almost done with the next chapter, but it still needs some tweaking. So I'll leave that to tomorrow.

Well, it's happened.

Took a little longer than I thought, but it's happened.

The TIS muse has reared its ugly head. Normally I would not say ugly. Normally, in fact, I would be quite glad of that, and would welcome the opportunity to write a bit more on it, finish another chapter.

Yes, normally. But there's this little thing called NaNoWriMo. And for NaNoWriMo to work, the TIS muse needs to be silent. Maybe not for the whole month, but for at least a healthy part of it. Well, whaddaya know, it was actually happening. I was clicking along with Desert Rose just fine. Then I got a three-day-long migraine, and for some reason, after that everything changed. Maybe the headache crossed some of my brain wires or something? I don't know. All I know is the current situation, which is as follows.

I now have ZERO inspiration for NaNo. Well, okay, not quite zero, but definitely not as much as I had before. Conversely the To Ignite the Stars muse is being more chatty than it's been in MONTHS. Seriously, I haven't had as much inspiration for that fic since the original plotbunny attacked me back in May. Which leaves me with precisely the dilemma I figured I'd have when I signed up for NaNo and got the Desert Rose idea.

I can't work on two projects at once. I. Just. Can't. I do NOT have that much creative energy, let alone time. I have two assignments for school due within the next four days (one of which is almost done, but that's beside the point), a presentation to do and a paper to put together at work. I've examined this issue from every angle and come to the conclusion that there is no way I can do Desert Rose and TIS at the same time. So, as I see it, that leaves me with the following three options:

1) Forget about doing daily NaNo word counts, and just do what I can. That is, continue to work on Desert Rose, but in a vastly reduced capacity. Throw myself into TIS until this unexpected bit of inspiration burns itself out, and then return to Desert Rose. Continue to divide myself between those two projects as the muses see fit.

2) Forget about both NaNo and Desert Rose. Start putting the push on TIS the way I was doing before NaNo started, and work on Desert Rose only when I'm sufficiently ahead in TIS.

3) Try to block out the TIS muse and continue pushing ahead with NaNo and Desert Rose. Make Desert Rose the only outlet for my creative energies at this point.

Of those options I probably like #1 the best, because it wouldn't feel so much like I'd given up. It wouldn't be working on two projects at the same time, not technically anyway, since I'd be going with the current inspiration. I know from bitter experience that trying to ignore a muse when it's chattering away just doesn't work. Inevitably one of two things happens: a) bits and pieces of the other story start seeping insidiously in until the fic starts looking remarkably like the other story or b) the fic comes out feeling very half-hearted and tedious because it doesn't have the full weight of inspiration behind it.

I don't want either of those things to happen to Desert Rose, because I like it too much. Let's face it, though, TIS is my baby, and like all babies it doesn't enjoy being ignored for very long. Sooo I'll probably go with option #1. But by all means, if you guys have another suggestion, feel free to comment with it.

*strangles both her muses*

Chapter 7
Characters: Padmé, Obi-Wan, Bail Organa
Rating: PG
Word Count: 3,801
Summary: The idea doesn’t really sink in until you speak the words, but it’s true: you are all traveling to your new home.
Author's Notes: Would've had this posted sooner were it not for my stupid muse and equally stupid body abruptly deciding not to cooperate. *smacks both* It's pretty hard to write and post chapters when you've got a raging migraine, let me tell you. But I think I'm on the mend, and despite not making my word count again today, I expect to be able to put in some good hard work on it tomorrow to catch up. As for this chapter? Well, more angst. That about sums it up. XD It was fun to write, mostly, though it seems plodding at times to me.

( It's the day of your funeral )

17,684 / 50,000 (35.4%)

I fell short again today, mostly due to not feeling very well through most of the day (womanly TMI, if you're wondering), but hopefully I can pick it back up again tomorrow. *sigh* I hate these kinds of days, but at least I know the world hasn't come to an end if I don't make my daily word count. That's kind of how I was getting last week, sad to say.

Will reply to comments and such tomorrow, as soon as I have the chance.

16,772 / 50,000 (33.5%)

Yep, all caught up! I'd been afraid that my having failed to equal the required word count yesterday was the beginning of the end, but luckily not. I put in some good hard work today, and was rewarded by once again being about 100 words over the required daily total. This puts me in a good position to resume my regular schedule tomorrow.

I'll have a general post about how NaNo's going so far tomorrow; right now I think I'll head to bed.

Chapter 6
Characters: Vader, Palpatine. Mainly Vader-centric.
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 4,065
Summary: You never meant to choke her. At least, that's what you try to tell yourself.
Author's Notes: This was a really interesting chapter to write. I mentioned previously that I've never written Vader before, and it's true, I haven't, but I'm having a ton of fun writing him now. I think what's most intriguing for me is the exploration of his physical limitations and how Anakin - because at this point, he still thinks of himself as Anakin - dealt with and adjusted to them. As a result, there is a lot in this chapter about the physical side of Vader, and how difficult it is for him to care for himself and exist on a day-to-day basis. I realize some of you may not find this kind of stuff very exciting, but it fascinates me, which is probably one reason the chapter is so long. I live with several chronic illnesses, and so there is some stuff in here that comes direct from the horse's mouth, so to speak. Anyway, I apologize if you're bored. XD The next chapter will be shorter and contain less character introspection and roughly the same amount of angst. Heh.

( Your recovery is not proceeding as quickly as Lord Sidious hoped )

14,387 / 50,000 (28.8%)

Yep, fell a little short today, for the first time since NaNoWriMo began. But I'm not short by much, and I'm also pretty sure that I'll be able to make up the extra words while cleaning and otherwise puttering around my apartment tomorrow morning. I pretty much have to, since I'm going to the hockey game tomorrow afternoon and I do not want to be faced with playing catch-up after I get back.

On the bright side, Chapter 6 is almost finished, and I should have it posted by tomorrow night.

Chapter 5
Characters: Obi-Wan, Padmé, Luke, Leia
Rating: PG
Word Count: 2,268
Summary: "I - I as good as killed him, Padmé."
Author's Notes: One of these days Obi-Wan will stop being angsty. Maybe. Possibly. XD The poor guy, though. I'm finding it really hard to write these scenes where he's emotional, if only because I keep wanting to stop and give him a big hug. Padmé's continual rejections aren't really helping, either. *cuddles her Obi!muse* Things will get better soon, I promise.

( Padmé sleeps most of the way to Alderaan, and in a sense, you're grateful )

13,445 / 50,000 (26.9%)

Another late word count post ... because despite what LJ's screwed-up time meter says, it's actually past midnight here, and I'm going to bed soon.

I really think that on days when I can manage it, I'm going to have to start working on my NaNo earlier. Tonight I faced the same situation as Monday, I arrived home from class/work/class without a single word written, and it was a lot tougher to get to the required count because I was busy with a couple of other things too. I hereby demand there be more hours in the day on Mondays and Thursdays! XD

Tomorrow I really will put up Chapter 5, I promise. I'll also have a couple other general question posts for you guys, mainly concerning off-LJ archive sites for my writing.

*collapses in exhaustion*

11,739 / 50,000 (23.5%)

Another late word count post, go me. *eyeroll* For the first time in a few days I had a lot of other online things to do, and so NaNo took a back seat. Still managed to make my word count, though! Of which I am obviously very proud.

At some point I'll get around to posting Chapter 5 and answering comments, I promise. XD Probably tomorrow during my lunch break. Right now I just want to thank each and every one of you for your positive reviews. They truly mean the world to me, and I'm very flattered that you think Desert Rose is so good. I'll have more for you soon.

10,204 / 50,000 (20.4%)

Wow, I can't believe I almost forgot to post my word count total for today. *headdesk* Chalk it up to reaching said total quite late - around 11:00 p.m. - and having more stuff to put in today's jedi_news update than I know what to do with. At least I'm putting this up before midnight. Sort of.

Soooo tired right now. Again, I can't believe I managed today's word count, and I'd be lying if I said I was pleased with the day's work, but I guess the whole point of NaNoWriMo is quantity, as opposed to quality. I'm definitely getting quantity, that's for sure, but quality? I don't think so, and my inner editor persists in saying no. Hmm. We'll see.

I'll probably post Chapter 5 tomorrow; at the moment I'm too tired to grapple with formatting and italics and all that other stuff.

8,512 / 50,000 (17.0%)

Hee, just how appropriate is this icon for today? XD

I'll be honest with you guys, achieving today's word count was a struggle - the first real struggle I've had with it since NaNoWriMo began. On Mondays I have class from 8:30 to 11:30 (meaning I leave my house at 7:15 a.m.), work from 12:00 to 5:30 and another class from 6:00 to 8:30. The classes are intense and busy, of course, and I have little time for even a lunch or coffee break at work because Monday is editing/pagination day at the paper and we have to "put it to bed" - newspaper lingo - by Tuesday evening latest. So on Mondays the staff and my fellow subeditor and I are basically running around absolutely frantic trying to get everything done. I typically end up pulling overtime on Tuesdays, too, and by the time I get home around 9:00-9:30 on Monday night I'm absolutely exhausted.

Such was the situation tonight. I arrived home without a single word written of my 1,667 allotment for the day, and all I wanted to do was curl up in bed and sleep for oh, maybe a hundred years or so. I ate some supper and napped for an hour, and by then I felt rejuvenated enough to pound out the required word count. I'm glad I didn't get behind, even if the act of doing so would be perfectly justifiable on a day like today.

Question for you fellow NaNoers: do you find yourself doing mental word counts of everything you write these days, not just your novel? I do, and it's frickin irritating. Right now, typing this post, I'm thinking, "Okay, this must be at least 300 words by now, maybe I can squeeze out another few hundred before it becomes too wordy?" Heh. It's a tough habit from which to break yourself.

Chapter 4
Characters: Obi-Wan, Padmé, Yoda, Bail Organa
Rating: PG
Word Count: 2,421
Summary: "Breha and I have wanted a child for so long. I don't know how I can ever repay you."
Author's Notes: I'm definitely not as happy with this chapter as I was with some of the others, but part of the purpose of NaNo is to shut your inner editor up and bind and gag them if necessary, so very few alterations were made. I just know I'm going to rip this up come December, though. XD The part where the Jedi and Bail move Padmé to Bail's starship is largely inspired by this picture. As soon as I saw it, I knew I had to incorporate it into a fic somehow, and so here it is.

( Wakefulness. A dimly-lit room. )

6,699 / 50,000 (13.4%)

Humming pretty nicely along, in other words. Each day it seems I manage to get a few hundred words more than the required count, which obviously doesn't bother me in the slightest. I wish I could actually get ahead of the game, but that probably won't happen in the foreseeable future.

The achievement of today's count was pretty effortless - at least more so than yesterday. For some reason the jump from 5,000 to 6,667 seems less daunting than actually getting to 5,000, so that made it easier on a psychological level today. And, of course, my muse, seeking to destroy every pattern I have been able to establish, was extremely creative around the hours of 4:00-5:00 and bone-dry in the evening. Go figure. *eyeroll* Maybe it had something to do with the time change and the muse being messed-up and thinking 4:00 was actually 5:00. I don't know. But anyway, it allowed me to get through half of Chapter 4, and for that I'm grateful.

Tomorrow being Monday and traditionally a very busy day at work, I have little faith in my ability to meet the required word count. But never say never, I suppose - after all, look what happened on Thursday. So I guess we'll see.

I'll now proceed to go to bed, because it'll be an early morning tomorrow. Plus, I got a flu shot today, so am feeling sort of off and achy from that. *rubs arm* Ow.

Chapter 3
Characters: Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader, Palpatine
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1,507
Summary: "No matter what actions I take, you have already lost the battle within yourself."

( Black. A red filter. )

Chapter 2
Characters: Obi-Wan, Padmé, Yoda, Leia
Rating: PG
Word Count: 2,738
Summary: How can you possibly communicate that it was you who killed her husband, you who delivered the final, dismembering blow?

( You've been told to sleep, but you can't )

Chapter 1
Characters: Obi-Wan Kenobi, Padmé Amidala
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1,840
Summary: "You're in the medical centre on Polis Massa. You've been injured, and the babies need to be delivered."

( Lights. Pain. )

5,285 / 50,000 (10.6%)

Sorry for the short post earlier, I really did want to go a bit more in-depth into today, but as I said to luminations, hockey waits for no one. XD But now I'm back, and I'll talk about how today's NaNo has gone.

As you know from the above word-counter, I officially broke 5,000 words today, and I'm so proud of myself for doing so. I don't think I've ever written 5,000 words in three days of anything, and so this represents a significant accomplishment for me. By comparison, each chapter of To Ignite the Stars typically runs about 5,000 to 5,550 words, and those usually take me a week to two weeks to write depending on how busy I am. I've cranked out nearly four chapters of Desert Rose in THREE days.

It's these kinds of counts that make me wish I could've used TIS for NaNo, and all things being equal, I would have if the plotbunny for Desert Rose hadn't attacked so viciously. I mean, I'm enjoying working on DR, for sure, but the plain fact is that TIS has been languishing since NaNo started, and I don't like it one bit. Tomorrow doesn't look to be much better, as I have several secondary things to do in addition to my daily word count. We'll see.

One interesting thing I've found is that my motivation really seems to dip around 4:00 p.m. or so. It happened yesterday, and the precise same thing occurred today. Both times the key turned out to be backing away from the computer for a half hour or so, recovering my inspiration and going at it again at 5. Some timely word wars helped out today, as well.

Two last items of note before I go and try to add some last-minute words to today's count. One, you'll probably notice if you go to comment that I've changed the layout of this journal. Obi-Wan and Padmé have been put on the shelf for now in favour of a beautiful new Expressive layout geared specifically to NaNo. Rest assured that in due time, I will mostly likely get bored with said layout - as is my custom - and change it back, but for now, this is what you get.

Two, tomorrow marks the first day I will be able to post excerpts from my NaNo project, since the fic contest at the Obidala Fan Forum will officially be over. At that point, an index post will go up (similar to the one for TIS) where all chapters and some Author's Notes will be housed. In addition, I'll explain the reasons why I wasn't able to post stuff right away. Chapters 1-3 will definitely be up immediately, and we'll see how far I get with the others.

Back to Insanityville ...

3,574 / 50,000 (7.1%)

In other words, YAYNESS again, for I have once again exceeded the daily word count requirement!

It was a struggle to get there today, though. I wrote quite a lot in the afternoon, aided and abetted by various collections of word wars, and then abruptly lost motivation around 4:00 when I was still a thousand words short. I was sort of tearing my hair out about that one, but in the end I decided to just step away from my computer for an hour and just relax. Get my mind off writing, in other words.

So I did, and boy did it ever work! I went away, read a little, had some supper and then came back and popped the NaNo playlist on. I seriously blitzed right through Chapter 2, and even though I'm not quite done it yet, I can finish that tomorrow and count it towards my tomorrow's word count. I don't have much left to go, anyway.

Still can't post anything - until Sunday, as it turns out, because the voting deadline at the Forum is tomorrow at midnight. x.x But by then, I should have four chapters for you guys, so you'll get a real treat!

Will reply to comments and such tomorrow, I'm going to bed right now.

1,840 / 50,000 (3.7%)

WOO! Guess who officially rocks! XD

As I said in a previous post, I seriously did not expect to get so much accomplished in one day, particularly a Thursday, but there you go. I brought my laptop with me to work and squeezed in a couple hundred words whenever I could, and I also got a lot done during my coffee break. The final push was put on tonight after I got home from class. That in itself is unusual since I'm typically too tired to write when I get home, but there you go.

Chapter 1 of Desert Rose is finished, but unfortunately I probably won't be able to post any excerpts until Saturday. This is because the original inspiration for this fic came from a contest entry I wrote for the Obidala Fan Forum, and voting for the contest ends November 3. Were I to post Chapter 1, it would be blatantly obvious (for various unmentionable reasons) to members of the OFF which fic submitted for the contest was mine, and I don't wish to take the chance and get myself disqualified. I'll explain everything come Saturday, I promise. And excerpts will indeed be posted then.

Until then, you guys will just have to make do with my word counts. Heh.