Liz (amidala_thrace) wrote,
Liz
amidala_thrace

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I Try To Hold You Closer

Title: I Try To Hold You Closer
Fandom: Star Wars
Written For: fanfic50
Prompt: #025 Burden
Characters: Padmé, Obi-Wan, Anakin
Word Count: 1,479
Rating: R for sexual scenes
Summary: When Anakin goes on missions, Padmé finds solace from a certain Jedi Master.
Author’s Notes: Okay, I’ll admit it. I wrote another songfic. *hangs head in shame* I had originally intended this for my 50scenes claim, but before long I realized that a) it was going to be way too long for 50scenes and b) it was going to be a songfic, so I decided it was more appropriate for my claim at fanfic50. Luckily I was able to find another prompt that I thought would fit. A few words about the song now, because I think it’s crucial to understanding the intent behind this fic. The song is called Your Laker’s Back In Town, and it’s written and sung by Stan Rogers, one of my favourite Canadian folk singers. I’ll include the full lyrics after the fic. The song talks about the situation once faced by many wives in towns along the Great Lakes, in that their husbands would be away for many weeks fishing and so they wouldn’t get to see them very often. Some of these women eventually found solace, companionship and love in other men who didn’t fish. It was adultery, but folks generally turned a blind eye because they understood the women were lonely and were only substituting the men for their husbands. When the husbands (the “lakers” referenced in the song) returned to shore, their wives would immediately come back to them and not see the other men until the next fishing trip. I thought a laker would be an apt description of Anakin – he’s always off on some distant planet fighting the Clone Wars – and therefore, it wouldn’t be inconceivable that Padmé would turn to another man for comfort while he was away. Of course, being that this claim is Obidala, that man had to be Obi-Wan. And this is the cute little yarn that resulted. Enjoy!



I see it in your eyes,
Searching through the harbour,
And out across the bay.
His ring is on your hand;
He called you up from Cleveland yesterday.
Now who’s he left behind?
The weather’s fine, he’ll soon be coming ’round,
I try to hold you closer,
But your laker’s back in town.


It’s only on the long journeys that she needs him. Then, she thanks the Force that he is there. Padmé doesn’t know what she would do without him.

Since Anakin was Knighted, the Jedi Council has given him many more solo missions. Missions without his Master, missions that are designed to prove how well he can handle a situation on his own. Of course, he can’t bring her along. The very idea that Padmé could accompany him is laughable.

But the long weeks and sometimes months of separation wear on both of them. For Padmé it is particularly difficult. Politics don’t soothe her as they used to; the Republic and its democracy are only shadows of their former selves and she understands that the Senate is but a figurehead, a servant to do the bidding of Palpatine and those like him. Anakin breaks the monotony of her days in the Senate.

When he is on a mission, she has nothing to look forward to at the end of the day. There are no waiting arms for her to fall into and cuddle. There is no one to eat dinner with. And most of all, there is no one for Later. Later is when Padmé takes to her bed and he pleasures her, kissing and stroking the fine hair between her legs, making her moan and wiggle with pleasure, before sliding into her and thrusting hard enough to make the bed creak on its hinges. Sometimes she worries that it will go right through the floor. But when he is away there is no one to do that.

Every forty days
He leaves you lying sleeping,
And clears for Thunder Bay.
You call me on the job,
And cry about how long he’ll be away.
You need a country band,
A cheap hotel and me to run around,
But for now it’s over,
Your laker’s back in town.


Except …

Except there is.

Padmé isn’t sure when it started. She knows only that it did. She supposes she was desperate for someone to hold, someone to love, someone to cherish, while Anakin was away. She supposes further that she turned to Obi-Wan because he possesses so many of the qualities that attracted her to Anakin in the first place. But he is more … refined. He is gentler and more considerate of her feelings. And so, she knows it should not come as a surprise that when Anakin is away, she turns to Obi-Wan to fill his role.

She welcomes him into her apartment at night and they exchange brief words – consisting mainly of variations on the phrase “I missed you” – before he presses his lips to hers and she drinks him in, pulling him closer into a hug as they kiss. In the early stages of Anakin’s mission, her words to him consisted mainly of longing for her husband and bemoaning the length of time that he would be away. But now, Anakin has been gone a month, and her need for emotional and physical companionship outweighs her need to miss him. By a slight margin.

A distant whistle moans across the bay,
Pulls us apart…
The singer says, “We’re gonna slow things down.”
Your cheating heart sounds like a clock run down,
Your laker’s back in town.


They do all the things that she and Anakin do together. They talk, about how the war is going and how Palpatine is clamping down on more freedoms each day, and Oh, did you see that HoloNet report about how he’s taken control of the last free media enterprise? and Yes, it’s simply despicable, isn’t it. Makes you wonder if it will ever stop.

Padmé cooks dinner for him; it is just plain pasta but it’s his favourite food, and so she’s glad to prepare it. When Anakin’s home he likes me to make these huge bantha burgers, she confides, and they both chuckle because it is so like Anakin. The meal passes quietly but companionably, for both are friends as well as lovers. She knows that’s one thing she could never count on from Anakin. He will listen to her as a friend listens, or pretend to, but she sometimes feels his real intention is to possess her. She is an object, like a speeder or a comlink or a lightsaber. But she loves him, and when we love, we forgive our partner’s faults.

In the bedroom, Obi-Wan is no less passionate than her husband. But he is slower. He builds Padmé to climax steadily and tremulously, his beard tickling her entrance as he kisses and fondles her, over and over until she arches her back and cries Obi-Wan … and then he pulls her to him and holds her, kissing her lips this time and tracing concentric circles around her nipples until she is once again slick and wet. When he finally slides himself into her she is pulsing with need, her mind interchanging him and Anakin until – flick-flick-flick – their faces dart across her field of vision as though they are the same person.

He moves in and out, giving her time, so they can savour their passion together. She is always able to climax with Obi-Wan, for some reason that she can’t identify. It troubles her. But just as quickly as that thought appears, it is discarded, and she surrenders to the waves of passion threatening to overwhelm her. Padmé clenches around him, which in turn sets off his orgasm, and they collapse into one another and try to quiet their breathing. She holds him close, stroking his hair.

He comes in looking like he owns the place
And he knows you’re here.
The singer hollers, “It’s the final round.”
The final beer feels like a rock going down.
Your laker’s back in town.


They both know this isn’t permanent. And although Padmé has someone else to turn to, Obi-Wan doesn’t. She knows that and feels guilty, but at the same time there doesn’t seem to be a way out of the box they’re trapped in. She needs Obi-Wan, and Obi-Wan needs her. He keeps coming back to her, whenever she calls, and if that isn’t a sign of need, of love, then what is? And her guilt, is that a sign that she loves him? She must, or she wouldn’t turn to him when she is at her most vulnerable.

He pulls out of her slowly, but stays in her arms, and they both listen to the vibrating sound her comlink is making as it rings. Neither wants the moment to end. But time has moved on, and they need to move with it. Padmé picks up the comlink.

Padmé, guess what? I’m back! Anakin’s voice bugles from the tinny speaker. The mission was a success, I’m back! And I can’t wait to see you. Are you free?

She’ll never be completely free, and she knows it. However, this is a frequent occurrence and she does not panic as some others might, listening to their husband’s voice while hugging another man. Just give me a half hour to clean up, she replies. Want to go down to Kaleidoscope? It’s Dance Night.

The mention of the most popular club on Coruscant pleases him, she can tell. Sure! Meet you on your landing deck?

I’ll be there.

I love you beyond measure, Angel.

I love you beyond measure, Ani, she automatically responds, and they sever the link. It’s true – she DOES love him, but it’s the absences. The absences are untenable. That’s why she needs help, and that’s when Obi-Wan is there to help her. Sometimes she is even able to tell herself that lie. Sometimes she even believes it.

A half hour later, Obi-Wan will be dressing in her bedroom and she will kiss him one final time before departing. He will look out the expansive picture window to see her running into Anakin’s arms, kissing him desperately, laughing at some joke he has told her, and climbing into his speeder.

And he will sigh, and he will begin counting the days until his best friend is sent on another mission. So he can love her again.

The band has gone away,
They’re clearing off the tables,
And giving me the eye.
You took him out the door,
And never thought to turn to say goodbye,
And I’m the crying fool,
I know that you will call and I’ll be ’round
To try to hold you closer,
’Til your laker’s back in town.
And try to hold you closer,
’Til your laker’s back in town.


Your Laker's Back In Town
Stan Rogers


I see it in your eyes,
Searching through the harbour,
And out across the bay.
His ring is on your hand;
He called you up from Cleveland yesterday.
Now who's he left behind?
The weather's fine, he'll soon be coming 'round,
I try to hold you closer,
But your laker's back in town.

Every forty days
He leaves you lying sleeping,
And clears for Thunder Bay.
You call me on the job,
And cry about how long he'll be away.
You need a country band,
A cheap hotel and me to run around,
But for now it's over,
Your laker's back in town.

A distant whistle moans across the bay,
Pulls us apart…
The singer says, "We're gonna slow things down."
Your cheating heart sounds like a clock run down,
Your laker's back in town.

He comes in looking like he owns the place
And he knows you're here.
The singer hollers, "It's the final round."
The final beer feels like a rock going down.
Your laker's back in town.

The band has gone away,
They're clearing off the tables,
And giving me the eye.
You took him out the door,
And never thought to turn to say goodbye,
And I'm the crying fool,
I know that you will call and I'll be 'round
To try to hold you closer,
'Til your laker's back in town.
And try to hold you closer,
'Til your laker's back in town.


Tags: fanfic50, obi-wan/padmé, r ratings, star wars
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