Liz (amidala_thrace) wrote,
Liz
amidala_thrace

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Music to Write By, BSG-style

This is partly for jeebs83 and partly for canceron_jedi, since both have requested at various points over the last few days to see the Insanity Underrated playlist ever since I mentioned that I was making one. I did something similar for TIS, as readers of that longfic will know, and I'm beginning to think that a barometer of how serious I am about a fic is whether I make a playlist for it. Heh.

Basically, I as a writer cannot seem to produce anything worth reading unless I listen to music while I am doing it - preferably music that has a lot to do (in my own mind) with whichever characters I happen to be writing about and their story. It's another of my idiosyncratic kinks, just like the fact that I need to have an outline before I start writing any longfic. Since I do make those outlines in advance of a single word getting written, the task of putting together a playlist is made a lot easier.

So. Here be the Insanity Underrated playlist. It is culled partly from my Kara playlist - which in turn heavily influenced my writing of The Sound of One Hand Clapping - and partly from the songs I tend to naturally listen to while I'm working on the fic. In most cases I've included only partial lyrics, but each song title is a link to the full lyrics if you want them. Some songs are further explained by my notes, but I've left others purposefully vague due to spoilers. Those of you who want to figure out their meaning or the reason they're included, put on your thinking caps! ;)

Links to other parts of the playlist: PART TWO | PART THREE

Front Row - Alanis Morrisette
I am totally short of breath for you
Why can't you shut your stuff off ...
I'm in the front row, the front row, with popcorn
I get to see you, see you close up
... For a while while I'm speaking
You know how much you hate to be interrupted maybe spend some time alone
Fill up your proverbial cup so that it doesn't always have to be about you
I've been wanting your undivided attention I like the fact that you're nothing like me
Are you not burdened by the lack of perspective people have of your
charmed life (seemingly)?
I'm in the front row, the front row, with popcorn
I get to see you, see you close up
Hey I'm not mad at you guardian
I'm mad at myself for spending so much time with you and your jeckyl and hydeness
I'm glad I figuratively slapped you on the wrist
You laughed a wicked laugh and said "come here let me clip your wings!"
(I know he's blood but you can still turn him away you don't owe him
anything)
"Raise the roof!" you yelled "Yeah raise the roof!" I yelled back.
(Unfortunately you needed a health scare to reprioritize.)
No thanks to the soap box
Having me rile against them won't make an ounce of difference ...


(Kara/Lee, from his perspective - aside from the "I know he's blood ..." line, which is Kara. This song informed a metric ton of the S1 arc of Insanity Underrated, and I actually refer to it in my Author's Notes for the "Colonial Day" chapter. But it also applies to later parts of the fic, especially one particular line. And nope ... I'm not telling which.)

Before You - Chantal Kreviazuk
Baby, before you
Well, I was bad news
In lettin' me love you
I think I can get through

Oh, baby before you
Well, I was so scared
I was a train wreck waitin' to happen
On the way to nowhere

And now I think it's kinda funny that you say you love me
You tell me that I'm crazy then you smile

And now I think I'll get through
The end of the world
And now I think I'll get through
Bein' a girl
Now I think I'll get through
Anything
And now I think I'll get through

Ever since I met you on a cloudy Monday
I can't believe how much I love the rain

And now I think I'll get through
The end of the world
And now I think I'll get through
Life as a girl
Now I think I'll get through
Anything
Now I think I'll get through


(Kara/Lee from Kara's perspective this time around. I can't say much about this song, really, except that it's so THEM it hurts.)

Wunderkind - Alanis Morrisette
I am a magnet for all kinds of deeper wonderment
I am a wunderkind oh oh oh oooooh
I am a ground-breaker naive enough to believe this
I am a princess on the way to my throne

I am a magnet for all kinds of deeper wonderment
I am a wunderkind oh oh oh oooooh
I am a Joan of Arc and smart enough to believe this
I am a princess on the way to my throne

Destined to reign, destined to roam


(Originally, this song was just about Kara and nobody else, but now I do apply it to someone other than her ... someone whom I can't yet name, due to spoilers. ;P But you'll see. "Wunderkind" is actually from the Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe soundtrack, but it fits this unnamed person - and Kara, for that matter - almost perfectly.)

Ultimate - Lindsey Lohan
You're it
You're the ultimate
It's automatic
I'm sure of it
No lie
So don't even try
To tell me that you're not the guy
Cause I've been waiting all my life
For someone just like you
But you're it
You're the ultimate, you

You're the kind of guy whose hands in mine send shivers up and down my spine
You took my heart and put it back together again

You're the kind of guy that blows my mind
But now it's my turn
You've been right in front of me
Everything I need
Why didn't I see


(I've never really been a fan of Lohan's, especially after she started pulling all the crap with drugs and so forth, but I love this song, and there's something about it that just screams K/L to me. :D)

Dark Road - Annie Lennox
It's a dark road
And a dark way that leads to my house
And the word says
You're never gonna find me there oh no
I've got an open door
It didn't get there by itself
It didn't get there by itself

There's a feeling
But you're not feelin' it at all
There's a meaning
But you're not listening any more
I look at that open road
I'm gonna walk there by myself

And if you catch me
I might try to run away
You know I can't be here too long
And if you let me
I might try to make you stay
Seems you never realise a good thing
Till it's gone ...
Maybe I'm still searchin'
But I don't know what it means
All the fires of destruction are still
Burnin' in my dreams
There's no water that can wash away
This longin' to come clean
Hey yea yea ...

I can't find the joy within my soul
It's just sadness takin' hold
I wanna come in from the cold
And make myself renewed again
It takes strength to live this way
The same old madness every day
I wanna kick these blues away
I wanna learn to live again ...


(Poor Kara. She is damaged goods, no question about it. The trick is convincing her that she is good enough for Lee and that her being with him won't destroy him.)

Love Is Blind - Annie Lennox
Oh the grass is growin' greener
On the other side
Nothing else has meaning
When I got you on my mind
I so wanna see you
Don't they say that love is blind?
Oh love is blind
Love is blind

I got so much trouble gettin' into this
Can't decide if its hell or bliss
Sometimes I feel like I don't exist
Cut my veins and slit my wrists
Goodbye
Goodbye

That's all she wrote
As she tied that knot around her throat
Wipe my eyes
Dry my tears
Wait for you for a thousand years

Oh lover
Make me yours again
Even though your thrill is gone
All my feelings still remain
Even though your thrill is gone
I'm gonna love you just the same

Can't you see that I'm addicted
To the notion of a someone
Who could take me from this wretched state
Save me from the bitterness and hatred of humanity
It's so screwed up

Tired of bein' down on luck
Tired of bein' beaten up
Tired of bein' so screwed up
Tired of all this desperation
Tired of all this mad frustration
Tired of all the aggravation
Sick and tired of devastation
Give it some consideration


(Before I even shipped Kara/Lee, just when I was starting to watch BSG, I bought Annie Lennox's album "Songs of Mass Destruction" and was absolutely stunned at myself that I could link every single song, save one, right back to the series. It just boggled my mind. This is the Kara/Lee song, and the minute I heard it I said, "That's them, to a tee." Even in the context of Insanity Underrated, it works.)

Smithereens - Annie Lennox
I saw your picture
It made me sorry
For all the things
I never said
It seems that you
Have cause to worry
It seems that you
Don't wish me well

Behind the victim
Behind the trouble
Are all the things
You've not expressed
I see you standing behind your mother
I see you hiding behind her dress

So don't make me sad
I couldn't stand to watch you fall
'cause everybody has a tender heart
Remember this
I didn't mean to break it down to smithereens

I heard you crying
I learned the story
I saw the shadows behind the past
They fall behind you
And creep up slowly
We're only human
Behind the mask

So don't take me down
I couldn't stand to watch you fall
'Cause everybody has a broken heart
Remember this
I couldn't stand to break it down to smithereens


(Unpopular opinion is unpopular, but: I actually don't mind Dee. I think the writers did a horrible job with her character, and particularly with S4.5 it almost seemed to me like they woke up and said to themselves, "Oops, we've accidentally portrayed her as an evil sadistic OTP-destroying bitch, whatever shall we do? Oh, I've got it! Let's have her say one last goodbye to Lee and then, you know, off herself! That'll take care of things!" Unfair, because I think she could've gotten a much better lot both on the series and in fans' hearts. She deserves a much better lot. I originally kind of went along with the writers' portrayal and hated her. Then I heard this song, and my entire perspective changed. Total paradigm shift. Dee really just had the misfortune to be caught up in the whole Apollo/Starbuck debacle, and very few people emerged from that with their reputations entirely sanitized. I have a lot of sympathy for Dee and I think she endured so much more than she should have had to. And she got a piss-poor ending to boot. Someday I'm going to write a sympathetic!Dee fic, but until then, she will have a place in Insanity Underrated. Probably not one you expect, but nonetheless.)

Ghosts In My Machine - Annie Lennox
I've seen too much
I know too much
I hurt too much
I feel too much
I dread too much
I dream too much
I'm caught up by the ghosts in my machine

I'm bruised and battered by the storm
Can't find a place to keep me warm
My mind is broken and forlorn

I think too much
I do too much
I fall too much
I fail too much
I cry too much
I die too much
I'm haunted by the ghosts in my machine

Give me some of that medicine
To make me forget
(I can't find it)
I need something easier
(can't find it)
'Cause I ain't found it yet
I ain't found it yet
I ain't found it
No no no no

Oh womankind was born of pain
My soul keeps hurting just the same
Oh come and take this pain away

I give too much
Get used too much
I lose too much
Get bruised too much
I need too much
I bleed too much
I'm sleeping with the ghosts in my machine

I said I love you baby
Guess I always will
I said I love to baby
Guess I always will
I said I love you baby
Guess I always will


(If the last song was intended to be from Dee's point of view, "Ghosts In My Machine" is pure Kara. Again, the first time I heard this I stopped and said to myself, "That's my girl in a nutshell," and to this day I can't see it any other way. The "medicine" is, of course, booze. Heh.)

Through the Glass Darkly - Annie Lennox
I'm caught up in the middle
But I'll take it to the end
It's comin' back together
And it's breakin' down again
If I could find a reason
I'd say you were my friend
If I could find a reason
I'd say it once again

When I'm with you the days are bittersweet
Still I can't remember what it feels to be complete
I've tried pretending
But it drives me off my feet

I don't know what it's coming to
But I'm looking through
The glass darkly ... yeah

Bright lights
Come and go
Playin' blues songs on my radio
Shadows still appear
In the house tonight
Ooh yeah
Ghosts that come in from the past
All those ghosts that keep on comin' back
Slidin' through the walls
And my windows
Ooh yeah


("Through the Glass Darkly" is the title of the Kara journal I maintain for my claim at theatrical_muse, and again, it couldn't be a truer portrayal of her if it tried.)

Lost - Annie Lennox
This is the sound of those murderous drums
The marching of footsteps
The twisting of thumbs
Over and over
Again here it comes

We're lost
(baby come again don't let me fall)
We're lost
(baby come again despite it all)
We're lost
(baby come)
(baby come)

Tell me the story
'bout when you were young
I want to hear it again
Leave in the part
Where the hero gets stung
I want to savour it
I want to play it again

This is the sound of a baby's first breath
The dying of footsteps
The touching of flesh
To hold in your memory
To keep by your chest


(This song has the honour of being on both the Insanity Underrated and the TIS playlists, and is as I interpret it a really interesting look at post-traumatic stress disorder in the military. And that is really all I can say about it right now, heh.)

Coloured Bedspread - Annie Lennox
Bright lights are growing dim
I wanna hide again
The nights are cavin' in
On my coloured bedspread
I wanna drift so far
To slip out of the crowd
It doesn't matter how
On my coloured bedspread

You make the stars dissolve
Like sugar melting in my mouth

Some people come and go
But they won't ever know
About the things we do
On my coloured bedspread
I remember places I've been to
Remember things I never knew
Remember dreams that all came true
On my coloured bedspread

We make the stars collide
I touch the planets
Through your eyes


(Kara/Lee, from Kara's perspective. Can't really say much more, hehe.)

Big Sky - Annie Lennox
Big sky
I'm gonna hurt you
Big sky
You'll remember this
Big sky
Up above the rain
How can I ever put a stop to it?
Look you in the face again

Big sky
I'll never let you go
Big sky
Baby I told you so
Big sky
Look at this swollen pride
I got so busy lookin' out for you
When were you by my side?

When I'm breathin'
When I'm sleepin'
I can't think of nothing else
All my longing'
All my waiting'
All my wailin'
All my standin' on the shelf
How am I ever gonna get through this
Back to myself again?


(If I were the type to write songfics, which I definitely am not, I probably would have done one to this with Kara/Lee. As it was I'd been thinking of writing a fic inspired by this song and centred around the aftermath of the New Caprica encounter, but I haven't quite gotten around to that yet. "Big Sky" will have a very different meaning when it comes to Insanity Underrated, though.)

Fingernail Moon - Annie Lennox
Fingernail moon
Up in the sky
Come out and see me
See me sometimes
'cause I'm here alone
Stuck in the blue
No distance between us
Between me and you
I've got nothing to hide
I've got nothing to lose
You'll be by my side
C'mon tell me the truth

Elegant moon
You cut like a knife
It does me no favours
To stay out of my sight
Suspended like glass
All ancient and new
All of space lies between us
Between me and you
There's no need to be shy
There's no need to be scared
I need you tonight
Come on out if you dare

I'm just a girl with my feet on the ground
I'm just a girl with my head goin' round
I feel so sad
There's something unsettling under my skin
I don't know the reason or where to begin
Caught in the circles I've found myself in
But I want to reach out and touch you


(One of the few non-angsty songs. Heh.)

1234 - Feist
One, two, three, four
Tell me that you love me more
Sleepless long nights
That is what my youth was for

Old teenage hopes are alive at your door
Left you with nothing but they want some more

Oh, you're changing your heart
Oh, You know who you are

Sweetheart bitterheart now I can't tell you apart
Cosy and cold, put the horse before the cart

Those teenage hopes who have tears in their eyes
Too scared to own up to one little lie

Oh, you're changing your heart
Oh, you know who you are

One, two, three, four, five, six, nine, or ten
Money can't buy you back the love that you had then
One, two, three, four, five, six, nine, or ten
Money can't buy you back the love that you had then


Last Exit To Eden - Amanda Marshall
The walls are thin here in this motel room
Some fool is raging overhead
He's preaching the gospel according to
Johnnie Walker Red
Four hundred miles talking to myself
Me and your memory end up here
I tell myself I'm gonna be alright
But it's still not clear
Did I just miss
The last exit to Eden
Is this the only love I'll know
Like a Judas kiss
Did my heart betray me
Back on the road I never chose
There are some sins that you can justify
But not the one I'm guilty of
I had a choice one last chance ago
But I turned my back on love
Did I just miss
The last exit to Eden
Is this the only love I'll know
Like a Judas kiss
Did my heart betray me
Back on the road I never chose
I can hear a man upstairs, he's crying out
'Fall on your knees, the end is near'
We both may need a saviour, tonight I fear that mine
Is the one that I left waiting far from here


(Kara. Caprica. Beginning of S2. More need not be said, I think - or if I did, I'd be spoilery, LOL.)

Supermassive Black Hole - Muse
Oh baby don't you know I suffer?
Oh baby can you hear me moan?
You caught me under false pretenses
How long before you let me go?

You set my soul alight
You set my soul alight

(You set my soul alight)
Glaciers melting in the dead of night
And the superstars sucked into the supermassive

(You set my soul alight)
Glaciers melting in the dead of night
And the superstars sucked into the supermassive

I thought I was a fool for no one
Oh baby I'm a fool for you
You're the queen of the superficial
And how long before you tell the truth

You set my soul alight
You set my soul alight

(You set my soul alight)
Glaciers melting in the dead of night
And the superstars sucked into the supermassive

(You set my soul alight)
Glaciers melting in the dead of night
And the superstars sucked into the supermassive


(Partly Kara/Lee from his point of view and partly my own relationship as the author with Insanity Underrated. I have a similar kind of love/hate relationship with TIS.)

Girlfriend - Avril Lavigne
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I know that you like me
No way! No way!
No, it’s not a secret
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I want to be your girlfriend

[Verse 1]
You’re so fine
I want you mine
You’re so delicious
I think about ya all the time
You’re so addictive
Don’t you know what I could do to make you feel alright?
Don’t pretend I think you know I’m damn precious
And hell yeah
I’m the motherfucking princess
I can tell you like me too and you know I’m right

She’s like so whatever
And you could do so much better
I think we should get together now
And that’s what everyone’s talking about!

Hey! Hey! You! You!
I don’t like your girlfriend!
That's right! No way! No way!
I think you need a new one
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I could be your girlfriend

Hey! Hey! You! You!
I know that you like me
No way! No way!
You know it’s not a secret
Hey! Hey! You! You!
I want to be your girlfriend

I can see the way, I see the way you look at me
And even when you look away I know you think of me
I know you talk about me all the time again and again
So come over here, tell me what I want to hear
Better yet make your girlfriend disappear
I don’t want to hear you say her name ever again
(And again and again and again!)


(I'm not really a fan of Avril Lavigne's - in fact, I think she's dumber than a sack of hammers. However, isn't this song so Kara? Hehehehe.)

Today I Met The Boy I'm Gonna Marry - The Crystals
Today I met the boy I'm gonna marry
He's all I wanted all my life and even more
He smiled at me and the music started playing
Here comes the bride when he walked through the door
Today I met the boy I'm gonna marry
The boy who's life and dreams and love I wanna share
The boy whose on my hand a band of gold will bear
The band of gold I always dreamed I'd wear
When we kissed I felt a sweet sensation
This time it wasn't just my imagination
Today I met the boy I'm gonna marry
He's just what I've been waiting for oh yes
With every kiss it's as if my heart keeps saying
Today I met the boy I'm gonna marry


(*smiles* *zips lips* *whistles innocently* *remembers she can't whistle and hums instead*)

Call And Answer - Barenaked Ladies
You think I'm only here to witness
The remains of love exhumed
You think we're here to play
A game of who loves more than whom

And if you call, I will answer
And if you fall, I'll pick you up
And if you court this disaster
I'll point you home

You think it's only fair to do what's
Best for you and you alone
You think it's only fair to do the same
To me when you're not home
I think it's time to make this something that is
More than only fair

So if you call, I will answer
And if you fall, I'll pick you up
And if you court this disaster
I'll point you home

But I'm warning you, don't ever do
Those crazy, messed-up things that you do
If you ever do
I promise you I'll be the first to crucify you
Now its time to prove that you've come back
Here to rebuild


(This is Lee's perspective on their relationship, and it's a pretty accurate one, I think.)

SuperGirl - Krystal Harris
Sometimes I have dreams
I picture myself flying
Above the clouds
High in the sky
Conquering the world
With my magic piano
Never being scared
But then I realize

I'm supergirl
And I'm here
To save the world
And I wanna know
Who's gonna save me?
I'm supergirl
And I'm here to
Save the world
And I wanna know
Why I feel so alone

Seems like a dream
But there's one thing missing
Nobody's here with me
(Here with me)
To share in all that
I've been given
I need someone
That's strong enough for me


I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles) - The Proclaimers
When I wake up yeah I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who wakes up next to you
When I go out yeah I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who goes along with you

If I get drunk yes I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who gets drunk next to you
And if I haver yeah I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's havering to you

But I would walk 500 miles
And I would walk 500 more
Just to be the man who walked 1000 miles
To fall down at your door

When I'm working yes I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's working hard for you
And when the money comes in for the work I'll do
I'll pass almost every penny on to you

When I come home yeah I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who comes back home to you
And if I grow old well I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's growing old with you

But I would walk 500 miles
And I would walk 500 more
Just to be the man who walked 1000 miles
To fall down at your door

When I'm lonely yes I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man whose lonely without you
When I'm dreaming yes I know I'm gonna dream
Dream about the time when I'm with you


(Aww, Lee. Such a closet romantic, hehe.)

Lovers In A Dangerous Time - Barenaked Ladies
Don't the hours grow shorter as the days go by?
We never get to stop and open our eyes
One minute you're waiting for the sky to fall
Next you're dazzled by the beauty of it all

Lovers in a dangerous time
Lovers in a dangerous time

These fragile bodies of touch and taste
This fragrant skin, this hair like lace
Spirits open to thrust of grace
Never a breath you can't afford to waste

Lovers in a dangerous time
Lovers in a dangerous time
Lovers in a dangerous time
Lovers in a dangerous time

When you're lovers in a dangerous time
Sometimes you're made to feel as if your loves a crime
Nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight
You gotta kick at the darkness till it bleeds daylight


Street Fighting Man - The Rolling Stones
Ev'rywhere I hear the sound of marching, charging feet, boy
'Cause summer's here and the time is right for fighting in the street, boy
But what can a poor boy do
Except to sing for a rock 'n' roll band
'Cause in sleepy London town
There's just no place for a street fighting man
No

Hey! Think the time is right for a palace revolution
But where I live the game to play is compromise solution
Well, then what can a poor boy do
Except to sing for a rock 'n' roll band
'Cause in sleepy London town
There's no place for a street fighting man
No

Hey! Said my name is called disturbance
I'll shout and scream, I'll kill the king, I'll rail at all his servants
Well, what can a poor boy do
Except to sing for a rock 'n' roll band
'Cause in sleepy London town
There's no place for a street fighting man
No


(Because some people don't want to welcome their new Cylon overlords, dammit!)

Best Of Me - Amanda Marshall
Drop those flowers - back away slowly
You jumped in thinking this was holy water
Well surprise surprise
This is not a test
Welcome to the party
I've been on my best behaviour but I think it's time
You saw the other side

I'm a tough tough game that no one can master
I'm a tall tall tale no one believes
I'm a long dark night with no morning after
Lucky you
You get the best of me

Brand new day - honeymoon's over
Peace and quiet puts me in a coma anyway
It's just a waste of time
This is not a dream
Do you get the picture
I know I may seem peculiar
Baby gimme time</i>


All Along The Watchtower - Bear McCreary
"There must be some way out of here," said the joker to the thief,
"There's too much confusion, I can't get no relief.
Businessmen, they drink my wine, plowmen dig my earth,
None of them along the line know what any of it is worth."

"No reason to get excited," the thief, he kindly spoke,
"There are many here among us who feel that life is but a joke.
But you and I, we've been through that, and this is not our fate,
So let us not talk falsely now, the hour is getting late."

All along the watchtower, princes kept the view
While all the women came and went, barefoot servants, too.

Outside in the distance a wildcat did growl,
Two riders were approaching, the wind began to howl


(Well, duh. You knew this had to be on here - it's pretty much a no-brainer!)

Porcelain - Moby


(This is an instrumental song mostly, so no lyrics, but there is a hauntingly beautiful quality about it that never fails to get me every time. It also has a special meaning for Insanity Underrated.)

Brand New Day - Forty Foot Echo
Never thought I'd say I'm sorry
Never thought I'd be the one to bring you down
Now when I look out my window
But there doesn't seem to be anyone around

And I, I think I'll change my ways
So all your words get noticed
Tomorrow's a brand new day
Tomorrow's a new day

We said we'd take little time
For both of us to see
And wonder what it'd be like to carry on
Ya, I know I got crazy
Well I guess that's just me
If I could turn back time before
The wrong

And I, I think I'll change my ways
So all your words get noticed
Tomorrow's a brand new day
Tomorrow's a new day


(Can't say much about this one, but yep, it has a purpose. *grin*)

Me Vs. The World - Halo Friendlies
Hey boys, hey girls
Hey anybody who will listen to me
In case you haven't noticed
It's just me against the world today

I fell out of the wrong side of the bed
And landed in the worst mood
With that stupid alarm clock screaming at me
From across the room

I'm trying to be nice
I'm trying to be reasonable
But it's oh so hard when I don't wanna be
If you're looking for that nice girl
From the day before
Don't bother, she don't live here anymore

Cause it's me against the world
(Oh what a stupid day)
Yeah, it's me against the world
(Just stay out of my way)
And in case you haven't noticed
And in case you haven't heard
It's just me against the world
And the world is winning

You should have let me stay in bed
I've got this pounding in my head
No nothing's okay
Won't you stay out of my face today?
I'm slamming doors
I'm slamming phones down
Watch out for
This temper tantrum
Stay out of my way
Cause if you don't, you will be scared away


It Only Hurts When I'm Breathing - Shania Twain
Hope life's been good to you
since you've been gone
I'm doin' fine now - I've finally moved on
It's not so bad - I'm not that sad

I'm not surprised just how well I survived
I'm over the worst, and I feel so alive
I can't complain - I'm free again

And it only hurts when I'm breathing
My heart only breaks when it's beating
My dreams only die when I'm dreaming
So, I hold my breath - to forget

Don't think I'm lyin' 'round cryin' at night
There's no need to worry, I'm really all right
I've never looked back - as a matter of fact

And it only hurts when I'm breathing
My heart only breaks when it's beating
My dreams only die when I'm dreaming
So, I hold my breath - to forget

It only hurts when I breathe


(This song will be absolutely heartbreaking in the context of Insanity Underrated. Sigh.)

Why Does My Heart Feel So Bad - Moby


(Another instrumental, but one that's lovely and ethereal and sad all at the same time.)

One Week - Barenaked Ladies
How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad
Trying hard not to smile though I feel bad
I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral
Can't understand what I mean?
Well, you soon will
I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve
I have a history of taking off my shirt

It's been one week since you looked at me
Threw your arms in the air
and said "You're crazy"
Five days since you tackled me
I've still got the rug burns on both my knees
It's been three days since the afternoon
You realized it's not my fault
not a moment too soon
Yesterday you'd forgiven me
And now I sit back and wait til you say you're sorry


(This song is specific to Kara/Lee, and while I associate different parts of it with either Kara or Lee, when taken together it's a pretty good picture of their relationship, heh.)

Empty Sky - Bruce Springsteen
I woke up this morning
I could barely breathe
Just an empty impression
In the bed where you used to be
I want a kiss from your lips
I want an eye for an eye
I woke up this morning to the empty sky

Empty sky, empty sky
I woke up this morning to an empty sky
Empty sky, empty sky
I woke up this morning to an empty sky

Blood on the streets
Yeah blood flowin' down
I hear the blood of my blood
Cryin' from the ground

Empty sky, empty sky
I woke up this morning to an empty sky
Empty sky, empty sky
I woke up this morning to an empty sky


(Another utter heartbreaker.)

If I Didn't Have You - Amanda Marshall
I don't know what I was thinking
'Til I was thinking of you
I don't remember a thing before I opened my eyes
And you came into view
I don't know what I was doing
When there was nothing to do
Must've been waiting for someone, baby
Now I can see - I was waiting for you

I'd give up my sight just to see you
I'd beg, I would borrow and steal
I'd cut off my hands just to touch you
And tear out my heart so you'd know how I feel
There's nowhere that I wouldn't follow
There's nothing that I wouldn't do
'Cause I wouldn't wanna be me
If I didn't have you

Driving myself to distraction
Until you got in my way
I was just whistling Dixie 'til you struck up the band
And they started to play
I don't know how I was living
Until you came in my life
I always knew there was something wrong
Then you came along
Baby, you made it right

I was alone in the silence
'Til I was hearing your voice
I couldn't see my way clear until you parted the clouds
And you gave me a choice
I couldn't pick up the pieces
'Til I was falling apart
I didn't know I was bleeding
'Til your love fixed this hole, baby, here in my heart


(You might think that this song is descriptive of the Kara/Lee relationship. Well, on that point you would be wrong. It has to do with Lee and Kara, but not with their relationship. More would be too spoilery, so I'll leave it at that.)

I'm Jealous - Shania Twain
If I were the moon, I could
catch your eye - I'm jealous of the moon
If I were the wind, I would
make you fly - I'm jealous of that too

I wish I were the sun shining
on your face - caressing like a lover
I would wrap you in a warm embrace -
we'd be holdin' one another
(I'm jealous of the sun)
I'm jealous of the sun
(Jealous of the sun) Oh,
I'm jealous of the sun

Oh, I don't wanna share you with
nothing else - I gotta have you to myself
Oh - I can't help it - I'm so in love -
I just can't get you close enough, no

When the sun's on your skin -
I can't hold it in
And I know it's a sin -
but I'm jealous of the sun

I wish I were the rain runnin' down your
neck - and drippin' from your fingers
Then I could be the drops rollin' off your
back - I'd love to let it linger
(Jealous of the rain) Oh,
I'm jealous of the rain


Fall From Grace - Amanda Marshall
Lost inside this angeltown
Lost like I could not be found
No connections of the heart
Love was glass that broke apart
Gimme faith in dreams
And someone to hold
Gimme love 'cause I'm out here in the cold
There are no secrets
No angels at my door

And oh, when you touch my hand
I fall from grace
And oh, when you reach for me
I fall from grace

On a steeltown boulevard
Life's a promise that doesn't last
Resurrections of the past
Children come and are gone so fast
So gimme faith in love
Baby tonight
Gimme arms to hold you here so tight
There are no secrets
No angels at my door


Angel - Sarah McLachlan
Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
There's always one reason
To feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release
Memory seeps from my veins
Let me be empty
And weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight

In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there

So tired of the straight line
And everywhere you turn
There's vultures and thieves at your back
And the storm keeps on twisting
You keep on building the lie
That you make up for all that you lack
It don't make no difference
Escaping one last time
It's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
This glorious sadness that brings me to my knees


(Some of you might know why this song is here, and I'll neither confirm nor deny anything at this point. *cough*)

Into The Fire - Sarah McLachlan
Mother teach me to walk again
Milk and honey, so intoxicating

I'm reunited
Into the fire
I am the spark
Into the night
I yearn for comfort

Open the doors that lead on into Eden
Don't want no cheap disguise
I follow the signs marked "back to the beginning"
No more compromise

And into the fire
I'm reunited
Into the fire
I am the spark
Into the night
I yearn for comfort

Free the water that carries me to the sea
You, I see as my security

And into the fire
I'm reunited
Into the fire
I am the spark
Into the night
I yearn for comfort

I will stare at the sun until its light doesn't blind me
I will walk into the fire 'til its heat doesn't burn me
And I will feed the fire


(I love this song, and it's here for a reason. More than that, I can't say. This must be driving some of you nuts, heh.)

Metamorphosis One - Philip Glass


(Another instrumental, but BSG fans will know exactly why it's on here. Wouldn't be a playlist involving Kara without it!)

And if you got through all that, I think you deserve a medal! Hehe. ;)
Tags: bsg, fic: insanity underrated, kara/lee, writing
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