Fandom/Pairing: Star Wars/Obidala (Obi-Wan Kenobi/Padmé Amidala)
Previous Chapters: Can be read here.
Characters: Obi-Wan, Padmé
Word Count: 6,116
Rating: NC-17 for sexual scenes.
Summary: Obi-Wan and Padmé enjoy some well-deserved R&R at her Varykino resort ... until once more, the war interjects.
Author's Notes: Remember this fic? XD I didn't quite realize how long it's been since I focused my attention on To Ignite the Stars until I actually had to look back in my outline to figure out what would happen in this chapter. *headdesk* Anyway, this is fluff at its absolute fluffiest, trust me. Not suitable for the diabetic or sugar-intolerant. Also not for the small fry, because there's some pretty hot stuff here. Katie says, "It deserves its rating, that's for sure." As for the writing part of it, well, this chapter made me remember why I love to write, why I love Obidala, and why To Ignite the Stars is and always will be my baby. Good, fluffy feelings all around, I guess! And we'll all need them, trust me, because starting next chapter ... it's the leadup to Revenge of the Sith. *hugs fluff*
“Come on,” Obi-Wan prodded.
Padmé shook her head vehemently. “No way!”
“I told you my most embarrassing moment, now it’s your turn!”
True. Padmé couldn’t deny that.
“Oh, all right.” She gave a loud sigh of resignation and picked at a corner of the picnic blanket. “I was fourteen, and it was a few months after I’d been elected Queen. Just before the Trade Federation blockade, as a matter of fact. I had to open the new medical centre in Theed, it was this big fancy ribbon-cutting affair and all these dignitaries were supposed to attend. I had this traditional ceremonial shirt and pants to wear. The problem was, when the outfit arrived on the day of the ceremony, it was about four sizes too big for me.”
“Oh, Force,” Obi-Wan said.
“Exactly,” Padmé laughed. “The tailor must have got my measurements mixed up with a bantha’s or something. Anyway, there wasn’t time to make any alterations, so I put it on all the same and headed for the ceremony. About halfway there I realized there was a big problem: my pants just would not stay up, no matter what I did.”
Obi-Wan was shaking with snickers. “I think I can see where this is going.”
Padmé rolled her eyes. “You probably can. Sabé tried to pin the pants up, and that worked until I was in front of the crowd and about to cut the ribbon. Just as I moved the laser into position, I heard some little pinging noises, which were the pins falling out, and next thing I know I’m standing in front of practically the entire population of Theed in my underwear with half my outfit around my ankles. Thank the Force I was wearing underwear.”
“What in the galaxy did you do?”
“I ran,” Padmé confessed. “I was supposed to give this big speech after I’d cut the ribbon, but there was no way I could have done that with my pants having fallen down. I burst into tears and I ran into the medical centre, and I wouldn’t come out until the crowd had dispersed. I was so embarrassed. I was afraid they were going to call me the Queen of the Underpants for the rest of my term. And well they might have, had the Trade Federation not invaded the very next week. That distracted everyone’s attention.”
She grinned up at him, repositioning her head in his lap. “So are you happy now, Master Jedi?”
Obi-Wan rested a hand on her stomach and massaged in light concentric circles. “Yes, very. I think that’s what I’ll have to start calling you from now on. The Queen of the Underpants.”
Padmé gave him a smack. “You wouldn’t dare!”
“Maybe I would, and maybe I wouldn’t,” he smiled. “But you’ve got to admit, it’s too good of a nickname to pass up.”
“You’re lucky I’m so relaxed,” she remarked. “Otherwise you’d be in big trouble.”
“Yes, the Lake Country has that effect on people,” Obi-Wan replied, conveniently sidestepping her jibe.
Padmé turned her head slightly, gazing over the wide green field before them. They had set up their picnic on almost the exact spot where she and Anakin spent a happy afternoon two years ago, and the scenery was no less idyllic. But now … now she was much happier, because Obi-Wan was with her and she had no obligations for the moment but to lie in his lap as he stroked her hair softly.
“Obi-Wan,” she said suddenly, “did I ever tell you about the dream I had in the MedCenter? After the miscarriage?”
She felt him tense a little under her, but he grasped her hand and gave a comforting squeeze. “No, I don’t believe you did, darling.”
Padmé took a deep breath and, buoyed by his touch, recounted the dream. Sailing with Obi-Wan and their child on the way to Varykino, the water fight, and the meeting in the field. “So,” she finished up, “I’m just not sure what to think. Was the baby – or the Force – trying to send me a message, or was it just the drugs? It’s so hard to tell.”
Obi-Wan was silent for several moments. “Padmé, have you ever been tested for Force sensitivity?” he asked finally.
“Well – yes,” Padmé said, slightly taken aback. “Two Jedi Knights came to my house when I was really young … one or two years old at most. They gave me a blood test. Mom was really upset about it because she thought they were going to take me. But in the end, I tested just below the threshold of what they accept, and so they let me stay. After that day, Mom never discussed the idea of Force sensitivity again. I only know all this because Sola told me when I was older and curious about the Jedi.”
“It’s possible – not completely assured, but possible – that you may have received some sort of message from the Force,” Obi-Wan replied. “Admittedly Force visions and dreams are not my area of expertise, but what you’ve described sounds like it might have been such a vision.”
“Do you think it was the baby?” Padmé asked softly.
Again he was silent for several moments, and when she looked up, she could see his eyes glistening with tears.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you,” she whispered.
Obi-Wan took a deep breath, letting it out slowly, and ran his hand through her hair again. “Don’t apologize. It’s just … sometimes, when I least expect it …”
“It creeps up on you, doesn’t it,” she completed. “The counselors told me that would happen.”
“Mmm.” He gave her a gentle hug, seemingly as much to reassure himself as her.
Both were silent for several minutes, during which time the Force ghost of Qui-Gon Jinn flickered into being just behind Obi-Wan. The ghost held himself carefully so as not to be seen by either of the couple.
“Padmé,” Obi-Wan said after awhile, “do you ever think about the possibility of – of having another child? Trying again, I mean.” He reached down to stroke her cheek softly.
She plucked at a blade of grass, clutching his hand to her cheek as she considered. “I haven’t thought about it lately, no. I guess I just wanted time to grieve for the baby I lost, before getting pregnant again.”
“Of course. That’s perfectly understandable. I feel that way too.”
“And at this point in my life … well, it would be hard. I can’t help examining it from a logical standpoint, that’s just how I am,” Padmé mused. “And right now, I’ve got my work in the Senate, which I don’t plan to give up anytime soon, and you’re off fighting the war on so many different worlds. Our child would have to be raised by a caregiver, and I really – Obi-Wan, what is it?”
For his face had suddenly split into a wide smile.
“You – you said our child,” he whispered, and close to she could see his eyes moistening. “I didn’t think – I mean, I wasn’t sure –”
“Obi-Wan, of course it would be with you,” she smiled. “I love you. I couldn’t think of being with anyone else.”
“Not even Anakin?” His grin was teasing this time.
Padmé gave him a swat. “No, of course not Anakin, you twit! He’s a good friend, but Force, I still think of him as a little boy sometimes. Even though I shouldn’t. I could never picture doing – well, um, that with him.” Her face grew hot.
Obi-Wan was reddening as well. “In – indeed. And to be completely honest, he doesn’t need that distraction in his life at the moment. Or that confusion.”
She sobered quickly at that. “I feel badly sometimes that we’re keeping this secret from him. And … and I have to be honest with you, Obi-Wan. When I came home from the medical centre, Anakin was at my apartment and … I told him that I’d had a miscarriage.”
Obi-Wan’s eyes darkened for just a moment, and Padmé felt her irritation rising despite the idyllic surroundings. She sat up to look Obi-Wan directly in the eye.
“Yes, Obi-Wan, I told him, and I told him who the father was,” she said. “The miscarriage was a secret I didn’t feel I could keep from him. Ani is my friend. But more than that, he trusts me. It’s almost childlike, the level of trust that exists there. How was I to betray that trust by lying to him?”
“You’re lying to him right now just by virtue of being here,” Obi-Wan pointed out. “Unless you’re trying to tell me that you did, in fact, divulge the reason for your impromptu trip to Naboo?”
Padmé took that without a blink. “No, I didn’t tell him. And that’s something I’m just going to have to come to terms with. Perhaps I will let him know, in the future. But I want you to accord Anakin some respect. He isn’t a thermal detonator that needs to be tiptoed around. He’s a very bright young man, with thoughts and feelings and insights. And sometimes what he needs the most isn’t a role model. It’s a friend.”
“But the Code –” began Obi-Wan.
“Oh, blast that Code,” Padmé interrupted. “Obi-Wan Kenobi, don’t even try to tell me that you weren’t a lot more attached to Qui-Gon than the Code would have permitted.”
The ghost gave an approving smile.
“Yes, and it nearly led me to the Dark Side upon his death,” Obi-Wan countered. “When I first attacked Maul, I did so with anger and revenge in my heart. It was only when I refocused my mind away from those emotions that I was able to feel the Living Force and defeat the Sith.”
“All right, so what about this?” challenged Padmé. “What about us, here, now? Surely just the act of being here represents contravention of your marvelous Code in the extreme, does it not?” Her voice began to take on the imperious tone usually reserved for political encounters.
“Don’t even try it, Obi-Wan,” the ghost advised with a chuckle as his former Padawan opened his mouth to retaliate. “No one can cut down Senator Amidala when she’s in full debate mode.”
Possibly Obi-Wan heeded those words, or perhaps his own analysis of the situation showed further argument to be foolish. Whatever the reason, he softened and sat back. “Love … can do many strange things to people.”
He picked Padmé’s hand up off the picnic blanket and brought it to his lips, planting a gentle kiss.
Even Senator Amidala could not resist that gesture, and the formal trappings fell quickly away. Padmé smiled, remembering her sister’s words. “Yes. Yes it can.”
Sated, the argument forgotten for the moment, she lay back in Obi-Wan’s lap. He wrapped his arms around her, and she relaxed.
“You’ll always be a politician, no matter the mold in which I attempt to remake you,” Obi-Wan smiled.
“And you, darling, will always be a Jedi,” Padmé returned, reaching up to stroke his cheek.
The rest of the afternoon was spent peacefully, relaxing in the field, finishing the picnic and a few friendly debates. Come evening the couple returned to the lake resort for a meal served by Nandi and Teckla, the cooks, and an early retirement to their shared bed.
While Obi-Wan finished up in the fresher, Padmé changed into a soft white nightgown and strolled out to the upper balcony. With a small sigh she rested her arms on the railing, looking out over the lake. So peaceful and calm at this time of night, not unlike her own countenance at the moment. If only I could stay like this forever, she thought. Away from the stress, away from the pressure, away from the war. With Obi-Wan. Padmé knew, though, that however idealistic that scenario might sound, her activist side could not easily be suppressed. Sooner or later she would want to return and become involved in galactic affairs. And Obi-Wan … well, he was a Jedi. Compassion for other beings was just in his nature. And as she had told him many times, she would not allow him to give that up just for her. Nor, she suspected, did he want to.
Presently Padmé felt a hand on her shoulder, drawing her into a gentle backwards embrace. She smiled, reaching her hands down to clasp his.
“It’s chilly,” Obi-Wan noted. “You should come inside.”
Padmé turned to kiss him softly. “I’m all right,” she replied once their lips had parted. “I’m used to it, anyway. Coming out here at nights to think like this was one of my favourite things to do when I was a little girl.”
The image of her as a child brought a smile to Obi-Wan’s face. “What were you thinking about just now? You looked … far away. Wistful.”
“Oh … us. Here. A part of me wishes we could stay here forever, just like this, with no politics or pressures or wars. But the other part knows we can’t do that.” Padmé smiled ruefully. “Maybe someday.”
“Maybe.” Obi-Wan slid his hands up to cup her breasts, massaging lightly. “Maybe someday we’ll live here all the time. We’ll have three children, and every day we’ll take them on a picnic in that field.”
Padmé closed her eyes and smiled, enjoying the sensations coursing through her. “Mmm … that sounds wonderful.”
“And Anakin will come visit us when he has leave, and he’ll teach the children to ride shaaks bareback, and your parents can stay with us if they want …”
“But only when we’d like a little time to ourselves,” Padmé said, getting into the spirit of things. “The rest of the time, it’ll be just us. Us and the kids. Waking up to each other each morning … celebrating lifedays … telling stories of all your dazzling exploits …”
“My dazzling exploits?” Obi-Wan chuckled and kissed the back of her neck. “What about yours? Liberating an entire planet almost singlehandedly –”
“I did have help, you know,” Padmé interrupted, but only half-heartedly; the prickles of his beard on her neck were proving quite distracting.
“– more than holding your own in the Battle of Geonosis, over and above many other competent fighters –”
“I had help there too.”
“Force, you’re starting to sound like me,” smiled Obi-Wan. “Everyone’s always telling me I’m too modest about my accomplishments.”
“You are,” Padmé insisted, turning to face him fully now and resting her head against his chest.
“So are you,” he pointed out, and they both laughed.
The couple stood there for a moment, embracing tightly, before Obi-Wan kissed her forehead and whispered, “I’m afraid that if we don’t go inside soon, this will become indecent.”
Padmé grinned. “Oh, is that so, Master Jedi?”
His hand trailed from her cheek down to her chest, moving lower. “Yes, I’m afraid that’s so.”
She wrapped her arms around his neck in response. “Well, perhaps we’d best go into the bedroom so you can have your way with me.”
Obi-Wan’s eyes sparkled. “I’d like that very much.”
Without a further word, he scooped her into his arms and carried her back through the doorway, using the Force to flick the switch closing the plasteel partition leading to the balcony. Padmé kissed him once, then whispered in his ear, “Right here.”
“Put me down here. Against the wall. Let’s try something new.”
“As you wish, m’lady,” he said, and set her down gently against the wall nearest the bed. “Feeling … adventurous this evening?”
“I might be,” Padmé smiled. “I just want to do something different, that’s all.” She began slinking the straps of her nightshirt down off her shoulders. “I didn’t think you’d object.”
“I don’t think I’m allowed to object,” Obi-Wan corrected, brushing her hands gently away and completing the removal of the nightgown. Callused fingers drifted over her breasts as the shirt dropped to the floor, eliciting a soft moan of desire. Next second, it was stifled as their lips met once more.
Padmé’s hand snaked between them, moving down to the drawstring of Obi-Wan’s sleep pants. A sharp intake of breath announced her arrival at a significant area, and next second, the pants too had been shed.
Softly, tremulously, she grasped the engorged organ, stroking gently along its length. A growl wrenched itself from Obi-Wan’s throat, and his kisses became more aggressive, more demanding, yet needy at the same time. With her free hand, Padmé drew him closer, then wrapped one leg around his hip as his length slid into her.
“F-Force, Padmé,” Obi-Wan gasped, momentarily pausing in his kisses. Sweat was beading on his forehead, and she couldn’t remember ever being looked at in such an erotic manner. “W-what’s gotten – gotten into you?”
She kissed him again, and again, and the only reply she could think to make was, “I love you.”
Further need for discussion was obviated as he grasped her waist and began thrusting slowly, then with more intensity as she locked her legs around him and moved to his rhythms. And all the while, he was kissing her, and she was kissing back, both breaking only when the need for oxygen became desperate. His hands were feeling up and down her back now, gently massaging and touching the lumps of scar tissue remaining from her Geonosis encounter.
She could feel her climax approaching, and swiftly bucked her hips to expedite the process. At last it broke over her, an ecstasy of pleasure, accentuated by the fire in Obi-Wan’s eyes and the continued touch of his fingers on her back. He followed several moments later, unable to restrain himself as her muscles clenched around him, throwing his head back and calling out her name.
Padmé slumped against the wall, exhausted but exhilarated. Obi-Wan held her still, allowing her to relax against him as he slowly withdrew. Giddily, she smiled.
“We need to do this more often, apparently,” Obi-Wan murmured.
“What, this in general? Or this, up against the wall?” she teased.
“Mmm, both.” He let out a long breath, still panting slightly.
“I don’t know what came over me,” Padmé admitted. “I just thought … that would be fun.”
“And it was.” Obi-Wan brushed his wet hair out of his eyes, planting a soft kiss on her lips. “Feel free to approach me like that anytime you like, darling. Anytime.”
She ran soft fingers along his cheek. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
He nuzzled her several times, then picked her up once more and carried her over to the bed. “How about a more traditional locale, m’lady? It has the added benefit of being comfortable when we collapse.”
“You are insatiable, you know that?” Padmé laughed and rolled to her side so that she was facing him as he climbed in. She bent to kiss his nose. “And I don’t mind that. Not one bit.”
Obi-Wan stroked her hair. “Perhaps I’m just making up for lost time.”
“Lost time …” She sighed, suddenly wistful. How much time has been lost because I didn’t pursue Obi-Wan after my parents told me not to? How much time has been lost while he’s been off fighting this wretched war?
How much time do we both have left, for moments like this?
“Credit for your thoughts?” Obi-Wan asked, concerned.
“I don’t know.” Padmé lay back on the pillow. “When you said ‘lost time,’ it just made me think of all the time we’ve probably lost. Because of my parents. Because of the war. I want this to go on forever, I want us to live here and have children as we discussed, but … is that ever really going to happen? Or is it just some fantasy we cooked up to make ourselves feel better?”
Obi-Wan looked thoughtful and reached his hand up to caress her jawline. “Qui-Gon always told me that I should be mindful of the future, but not at the expense of the present. One of his favourite things to say was, ‘Keep your mind on the here and now where it belongs.’ Perhaps this is one of those times where we should heed his advice.”
“It’s hard, though,” Padmé said. “So much of what I do is based on what may or may not happen in the future. Things like – you know, if I’ve got a meeting tomorrow, I need to prepare for it, if the Chancellor passes such and such a motion I need to write a response speech. I’ve stopped thinking about the present for my career, so I suppose it makes sense that I wouldn’t do it for my personal life.”
He gathered her in his arms for another series of kisses. “That’s a skill we shall have to practice, then.”
Padmé’s smile was wide and coquettish. “You think so, do you?”
Obi-Wan grinned too. “Yes, I’m afraid I do.”
It was a long time before either of them stopped “practicing.”
Resting purely in the Living Force, the ghost probed the future.
He did not allow himself to do so often – that was more Yoda’s department – but occasionally, the right opportunity presented itself. He felt almost guilty for doing so. After all, how many times, in life, had he told his young Padawan that a focus on the present was just as important? Clearly, this was advice that Obi-Wan still took to heart if his conversation with Padmé had been any indication.
The ghost opened his mind, sinking into a meditative trance. The atmosphere of the Lake Country was particularly useful for this. He could see why Padmé loved it. So peaceful, and quiet. The night air hummed with soft anticipation.
Something was about to happen.
A divergence of two paths … clearly marked, from this moment on …
Whatever occurred tonight, for better or worse, would shape the future.
Two stars separated from one another. They swirled around, to be joined shortly by a third. The clashing of lightsabers … red, blue, green, flick-flick-flick … so fast that even the ghost could not determine their source.
He found himself in the bedroom. Why he had ended up there, the ghost could not tell, but nor was it his job to interpret what he saw. The Force had a reason for showing him these visions; his duty was only to absorb them.
Obi-Wan and Padmé lay asleep, entwined with each other after a long intimate night. Obi-Wan’s hand rested lightly on Padmé’s abdomen, massaging softly in his sleep.
The Living Force shone so brightly around the bed that the ghost had to shield his eyes.
And the stars were rising … rising from Padmé, rising up toward the ceiling. Shining brightly. Lightsabers again … blue, red, green … Palpatine’s voice, mingled with a strange male voice the ghost did not know. It had overtones of familiarity, but …
“Your overconfidence is your weakness,” the voice was saying.
“Your faith in love is yours,” Palpatine returned.
She felt him before she’d even opened her eyes.
Soft touches – strokes, almost – on her back, sliding down to grasp her buttocks through the sheets, then back up again. Obi-Wan seemed to be exploring her body, and she smiled broadly at the thought. Kept her eyes closed. Allowed him to reach around to the front, cupping her breasts and swirling a finger around each of her nipples before moving lower, to her navel. Finally cracking open her lids when his hand reached the dark curls at her crotch.
Padmé smiled again, pressing herself into him and feeling direct evidence of his need at her back. “Good morning,” she murmured.
“Morning,” Obi-Wan replied, and he sounded more relaxed than she had ever heard. “Did you sleep well?”
“Wonderfully. I’ll never get tired of waking up to you.”
“Nor will I.” He continued his ministrations. “I’ve wanted this for so long now.”
Padmé turned to face him, unable to keep the wistfulness from her voice. “I wish this could go on forever,” she whispered, stroking his cheek.
Obi-Wan’s eyes darkened for just a moment. “I know. I do too. But it can’t.”
She kissed him softly. “Someday, Obi-Wan. Someday we’ll come back here, and have all the time in the world. I don’t know when that will be, but … I know it will happen.”
He wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. “I never thought I’d say this, but I wish I could stop time. I’d stop it right here, so I wouldn’t have to go back,” he murmured into her hair.
“But you don’t have to go back yet … do you?” Padmé asked, suddenly worried.
Obi-Wan sighed heavily. “Before you woke up, my comlink went off. It was Master Windu, he … he said that Asajj Ventress has been reported as heading for somewhere in the Outer Rim, and Anakin and I have been ordered to go after her. I’m to report to Theed two standard hours from now to catch a transport back to Coruscant for the mission briefing.”
“What?” Her voice had dropped to a whisper. “But – but we were supposed to have two more days together! You booked a week of shore leave!” Unwillingly Padmé felt tears gathering in her eyes.
“I know, and part of me wonders whether this isn’t just another wild bantha chase,” Obi-Wan said. “But I don’t have a choice.”
She took a deep breath, trying to recover her composure. She had to be cheerful, for his sake. “Is – is it somewhere close to Coruscant?”
“The Outer Rim,” he replied grimly. “If we don’t catch her we could be stuck out there for a very long time, given the sieges going on now. I don’t expect they’ll bring us back from the front, every available fighter is needed at the moment.”
Padmé managed a shaky smile. “Well, maybe it won’t be for too long this time. Maybe you will catch her, and you’ll be back before you know it.”
“Perhaps,” Obi-Wan echoed, but his face was distant, sad. She could feel his hands massaging her back, probing gently, almost as though trying to memorize every inch of her.
Padmé took a deep breath, willing herself to adopt an upbeat tone. “Well … if you have to go … I want our last hour together to be happy. So that when you’re off fighting the war, and I’m back on Coruscant, we can remember this moment with joy, rather than with sorrow. Please?”
He was silent for several moments, as though thinking hard, and then suddenly seemed to come to a decision. “You’re right, Padmé. Let’s spend this time like we’ve spent the rest of our getaway. Remembering times like this was all that got me through my last mission. Well, and my duty.”
“Yes, of course,” Padmé said. “We’re both dedicated to duty. Nothing will ever change that.”
“The curse of conscience, I suppose,” Obi-Wan remarked.
She kissed him again, without responding this time, and he returned it, finally feeling able to give himself again to the invitation. Obi-Wan trailed his fingers down her neck, stopping again to pluck and tweak at her nipples. Padmé moaned softly, pressing against his touch.
He moved lower, his faint touch feeling like wind whispering across her skin. “Wait,” Padmé whispered. “Why do you always get to have all the fun? I think it’s my turn, Master Jedi.”
“As you wish,” he smiled, and lay back on the bed. “But I do so enjoy it, m’lady.”
“Not this time, Obi-Wan.” Padmé lifted herself into position, kissing him again and copying his touches on the warm, smooth skin of his abdomen. “This time, I take the lead.”
He watched in wonderment as she went lower, and then all conscious thought evaporated as she stopped to fondle his sac and simultaneously wrap slender fingers around the engorged organ above it.
When had she learned to do such marvelous things with her hands?
A series of incoherent grunts rippled from his throat as the fingers moved, up and down – not in the roughest of ways, and not in the manner he typically used to pleasure himself, but gently and full of feeling. And the knowledge that it was not just anyone doing this, but his love … the thought nearly brought him to climax right there and then. It was only by releasing the arousal into the Force that he was able to hold off the inevitable.
Her eyes were a sultry brown as she continued to gaze, not at her current task, but at his face. She was gauging his reactions, wanting to see the effect she had on him. Sweat was forming on his forehead, his hands grasping the blankets as though they were a lifeline. His eyes clenched tightly shut, he was focusing on her essence in the Force. It shone as brightly as any star.
The touches stopped, and his eyes flew simultaneously open. He had just given himself permission to surrender to the urge, and suddenly the stimulus was no longer there.
“Padmé …” It came out almost as a whine.
“Sit up, Obi-Wan.” Her voice dripped with passion, and he immediately complied.
She moved over, climbing onto his lap, and slid his length inside her body. Wrapped her arms around him and began to move slowly, locking her legs as she had done the previous night. Enchanted, Obi-Wan held her as she was holding him, following her rhythms and picking up speed when she did. Gently they clasped each other, lovers performing an erotic duel, both cognizant of the fact that they had little time to do this.
Padmé quickened her pace further as she sensed her orgasm approaching, and seconds later, it broke over her in a single flash of white-hot light. Obi-Wan pulled her close, and they fell back onto the bed together, each moaning the other’s name as he filled her with his warm seed. She lay on top of him, unwilling to let go.
“Padmé,” he murmured, stroking her hair.
“I know,” she whispered. “I know you have to go. I was just trying to drag it out for as long as I could.”
“That’s not what I was going to say,” Obi-Wan replied huskily. “What I was going to say was … thank you. For this.”
Padmé blinked, momentarily wrongfooted. “I love you, Obi-Wan. I just wanted us to be happy, before you left.”
“This will be my refuge from the war,” he told her. “When I’m in the Outer Rim, after a hard day of battle … I can look back upon this moment and feel happiness. I’m around so much death fighting this Force-forsaken war … what we’ve just done is an act of life.” His voice cracked, and she looked up to see that his eyes were full of tears.
She wrapped her arms around him in a gentle hug. “I wish things could be different.”
“There’s no sense wishing,” Obi-Wan sighed. “It’s our duty to go back to our lives, whether we like it or not.”
“One day we’ll come back here,” Padmé promised. “One day we’ll have the life we talked about. One day that will happen. I know it.”
They rolled over and he pulled out slowly, savouring the moment. One last kiss, long and desperate and needy, trying to make up for those that would not be exchanged in the next months. One last caress. One last time to press their bodies together.
Then it was over.
Then Padmé was reaching for Obi-Wan’s hand, and he was climbing out of bed, and she was letting go, and he was pulling on his tunics. Neither wanted the moment to end. Both knew it already had.
“You’d better stay here for now,” Obi-Wan advised, buckling his tabard and attaching his lightsaber. “It’ll look a bit strange if we’re both seen leaving the resort. Especially together. Wait an hour, then follow me. I expect Captain Typho will be waiting at the palace to take you back to Coruscant.”
“All right,” Padmé murmured. Her face was pressed into the pillow to conceal her tears. She didn’t want this, she didn’t want to cry, not now, it would just make him feel worse …
“Padmé.” A touch on her shoulder, and involuntarily she turned. He was looking at her, in full dress, concerned.
Two more tears slipped down her cheeks.
“I’m sorry,” she said miserably. “I didn’t want it to be like this. I don’t mean to get so upset …”
“Oh, darling, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry for both of us.” He sat on the side of the bed and pulled her into a warm embrace. Padmé could feel her tears wetting the front of his tunic as her shoulders shook. She regretted it, but could not seem to stop the flood.
And Obi-Wan did not complain. He did not say that there was little time left for him to leave the resort to make the transport in Theed. He did not enumerate the consequences that might arise from him missing that transport.
He held her.
And she cried.
PERSONAL RECORD: PADME AMIDALA
The resort seems so much emptier without Obi-Wan.
I’m dressed now, sitting on the front veranda waiting for Paddy and the staff to finish loading my luggage onto the boat. It won’t take too much longer. After that, who knows when I will return?
I feel embarrassed still at having lost control the way I did when Obi-Wan was about to leave. I didn’t intend it to happen. It just … did, and once I started to cry I could not seem to stop. It’s all the stress of the past year and a half coming back. The negotiations in the Senate, Palpatine’s manipulations, the miscarriage, Obi-Wan and I constantly having to leave each other. I was crying for the life I should have had, at home with my husband and children. I was crying for the life that I have now, the life that I would not exchange for anything.
Sometimes, I’m selfish. I know I shouldn’t be, but I cannot help it. I KNOW Obi-Wan is a Jedi, and I know it is his duty to serve the Council and fight the war just as it is my duty to represent my people in the Senate. I would never ask him to give that life up. But we are in a unique situation, him and I. He has an attachment, and for better or worse, that is not usually permitted. The only reason the Council has given its blessing is because of Obi-Wan’s exemplary service record, and because – for some mysterious reason – Master Yoda seems to approve of our relationship. What it means is that Obi-Wan and I are being constantly pulled between our professional lives and our personal lives. It is a stress that neither of us need, but nor would either of us choose to give it up.
We went through so much to establish it, in the first place.
I’ve had such a wonderful time these past few days. Knowing that my parents have now given their blessing for Obi-Wan and I to be together means more than I can explain in words. The family unit is just to important to Nubians, we are raised from the cradle to appreciate and honour it above all other pursuits, even public service. As I once told Obi-Wan, I can no more deny that those beliefs are a part of my life than he could deny his Jedi upbringing. I realize now that keeping the secret of us from my parents was causing me a tremendous amount of stress all on its own. With that weight off my chest, I was able to be more relaxed on this holiday than I could ever remember being.
Somehow we were able to leave each other this morning. Somehow he let go of me, and we kissed one final time, and I ran to the window to watch him go. It took a few moments for him to appear below, and when he did, I watched him stop, turn and look up. He saw me, and wordlessly he raised his hand to his lips, as though my fingers were there and he was about to kiss them.
Through my tears, I did the same.
We held that pose for a long time, each savouring the glance of the other, and then Paddy Accu called to him. Obi-Wan blew me a kiss, then turned and climbed into the boat. I watched until the boat was a dot, then a speck.