Liz (amidala_thrace) wrote,
Liz
amidala_thrace

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Music to Write By

This may be of absolutely no interest to anyone but myself (and maybe Katie, heh), but it's a post I've been meaning to make for quite some time, so why not now. ;) Feel free to skip if you're not interested or not a TIS reader; I won't know the difference anyway!

I've talked in this journal before about how I absolutely can't write without music, particularly when I'm working on To Ignite the Stars. Ever since the fic's inception in April 2007, I've developed a specific playlist which I usually write to, a list that has grown and shrunk and expanded again as I've gone through different stages. When I was first starting it I listened to a lot of Celine Dion, mostly sappy stuff about unrequited love. As the fic progressed I added different songs that I thought applied to the Obi-Wan/Padmé of TIS, and now I'm spinning songs that mainly have to do with self-recrimination and guilt because that's mainly where the fic at the moment. *facepalm @ Obi-Wan*

So, in case any of you were wondering what I listen to when I write and which songs have inspired/contributed to the fic, I've compiled a list of the top To Ignite the Stars songs under the cut. There are some songs on there that have to do with the future of the fic, where different characters and plotlines will be heading. However, as Katie can attest, most of the future songs and meanings only make sense to me at the moment, since I keep certain scenes and plotlines only in my head and add them to the outline later. (Case in point: I emailed her the playlist before posting this and she was picking out some of the songs going "HUH?? Why is that on there???") So spoilers shouldn't be a problem. :) I've included only partial lyrics and sometimes a further description of which scene(s) the song applies to since otherwise LJ's post length police would probably get pissy with me. There's also a link to full lyrics with each song, though, just in case y'all want that. And yeah ... these aren't in order by scene. Heh.





Radio Nowhere - Bruce Springsteen
I was spinnin' 'round a dead dial
Just another lost number in a file
Dancin' down a dark hole
Just searchin' for a world with some soul

This is radio nowhere, is there anybody alive out there?
This is radio nowhere, is there anybody alive out there?
Is there anybody alive out there?

I was driving through the misty rain
Yeah searchin' for a mystery train
Boppin' through the wild blue
Tryin' to make a connection with you


(Obi-Wan's POV after he's been attacked by his clones on Utapau and is in the starfighter trying to contact someone to see what's happened.)

Whisper - Evanescence
Catch me as I fall
Say you're here and it's all over now
Speaking to the atmosphere
No one's here and I fall into myself
This truth drives me
Into madness
I know I can stop the pain
If I will it all away


(Padmé's POV during same.)

Hero - Chad Kroeger
I am so high, I can hear heaven.
I am so high, I can hear heaven.
Oh but heaven, no heaven don't hear me.

And they say that a hero can save us.
I'm not gonna stand here and wait.
I'll hold on to the wings of the eagles.
Watch as we all fly away.

Someone told me that love would all save us.
But how can that be?
Look what love gave us.
A world full of killing, and blood-spilling, that
world never came.

And they say that a hero can save us.
I'm not gonna stand here and wait.
I'll hold on to the wings of the eagles.
Watch as we all fly away.

Now that the world isn't ending, it's love that I'm sending to you.
It isn't the love of a hero, that's why I fear it won't do.


(This song is SO Obi-Wan. Heh.)

My Immortal - Evanescence
I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

[Chorus:]
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase


(Yes, I know, most overused fanfic song IN HISTORY. *headdesk* But it will eventually have a special meaning for TIS - and probably one you wouldn't expect.)

Magic - Bruce Springsteen
I got shackles on my wrists
Soon I'll slip and I'll be gone
Chain me in a box in the river
And I'll rise singing this song
Trust none of what you hear
And less of what you see
This is what will be (This is what will be)
This is what will be

[Instrumental]

(I'll cut you in half)

I got a shiny saw blade (a shiny saw blade)
All I need's a volunteer
I'll cut you in half
While you're smilin' ear to ear
And the freedom that you sought
Driftin' like a ghost amongst the trees
This is what will be
This is what will be (This is what will be)

Now there's a fire down below
But it's coming up here
So leave everything you know
Carry only what you fear
On the road the sun is sinkin' low
Bodies hanging in the trees
This is what will be (This is what will be)
This is what will be


(Palpatine IS this song. Seriously. *smacks him*)

I'm Alive - Celine Dion
When you call on me
When I hear you breathe
I get wings to fly
I feel that I'm alive

When you look at me
I can touch the sky
I know that I'm alive

When you bless the day
I just drift away
All my worries die
I'm glad that I'm alive

You've set my heart on fire
Filled me with love
Made me a woman on clouds above

I couldn't get much higher
My spirit takes flight
'Cause I am alive


(Padmé loves her kids. D'aww.)

Supermassive Black Hole - Muse
Oh baby don't you know I suffer?
Oh baby can you hear me moan?
You caught me under false pretenses
How long before you let me go?

You set my soul alight
You set my soul alight

(You set my soul alight)
Glaciers melting in the dead of night
And the superstars sucked into the supermassive

(You set my soul alight)
Glaciers melting in the dead of night
And the superstars sucked into the supermassive

I thought I was a fool for no one
Oh baby I'm a fool for you


(This has less to do with Obi-Wan/Padmé specifically and more with my own personal feelings, as the author, towards To Ignite the Stars as a whole. I'd say it's pretty representative of how I feel towards my baby. XD)

Sorry For Love - Celine Dion
Forgive me for the things
That I never said to you
Forgive me for not knowing
The right words to say, to prove

That I will always be
Devoted to you and me
And if you can't feel that in my love
Then I'm sorry for not giving you enough

But I'm not sorry for my love
I'm not sorry for my touch
The way it made your hands
Tremble and my heart rush

I would do it all again
Wouldn't take back a thing, no
'Cause with you I've lived
A thousand lives in one


Answer - Sarah McLachlan
I will be the answer
At the end of the line
I will be there for you
While you take the time
In the burning of uncertainty
I will be your solid ground
I will hold the balance
If you can't look down

If it takes my whole life
I won't break, I won't bend
It will all be worth it
Worth it in the end
Cause I can only tell you what I know
That I need you in my life
When the stars have all gone out
You'll still be burning so bright

Cast me gently
Into morning
For the night has been unkind
Take me to a
Place so holy
That I can wash this from my mind
The memory of choosing not to fight

If it takes my whole life
I won't break, I won't bend
It will all be worth it
Worth it in the end
'Cause I can only tell you what I know
That I need you in my life
When the stars have all burned out
You'll still be burning so bright

Cast me gently
Into morning
For the night has been unkind


(I actually put the entire lyrics of this song here simply because it is SO meaningful for where Obi-Wan and Padmé are right now in the fic. The first time I heard "Answer," I was in the middle of writing the scene where he's standing at the window and she comes up and hugs him from behind, and - I'm not kidding - it almost made me cry. The lyrics are amazingly expressive of the love and devotion she feels towards him, and the idea that no matter how long it takes, she's going to be there for him and they'll get through what they're facing together. Extremely powerful.)

Lost - Annie Lennox
We're lost
(baby come again don't let me fall)
We're lost
(baby come again despite it all)
Were lost
(baby come)
(baby come)

Tell me the story
'bout when you were young
I want to hear it again
Leave in the part
Where the hero gets stung
I want to savour it
I want to play it again

This is the sound of a baby's first breath
The dying of footsteps
The touching of flesh
To hold in your memory
To keep by your chest

We're lost
So lost
Lost


(This song could be taken in many contexts, I think, but I choose the one portrayed in the film In the Valley of Elah, about post-traumatic stress disorder among Iraq war veterans. Applied to TIS, I listened to this song a lot when I was writing the scenes directly after Mustafar. It's still on my top ten list now.)

Ten Days - Celine Dion
At the doorway of my heart
All the leaves have fallen down
And though I try to pick them up
There's so many I think I'll drown

Ten days have come and gone
Ten days and I'm all alone
And all that I can do is
Pray and pray
Ten days I've seen the rain
Comin' down on a sunny day
But all I've got to do is
Pray and pray
And pray

At the doorway of my life
I feel the pain but feel no shame
And what I've got I keep inside
Some things have changed but I'm still the same

Ten days have come and gone
Ten days and I'm all alone
And all that I can do is
Pray and pray
Ten days I've seen the rain
Comin' down on a sunny day
But all I've got to do is
Pray and pray
(That's right)
And pray

And if you're goin' my way
Don't think that I'll bend
'Cause this is where I'll stay
I think it's the end


Last to Die - Bruce Springsteen
We took the highway till the road went black
We marked Truth or Consequences on our map
A voice drifted up from the radio
We saw the voice from long ago

Who'll be the last to die for our mistake
The last to die for our mistake
Whose blood will spill, whose heart will break
Who'll be the last to die for our mistake

The kids asleep in the backseat
We're just countin' the miles you and me
We don't measure the blood we've drawn anymore
We just stack the bodies outside the door

Who'll be the last to die for our mistake
The last to die for our mistake
Whose blood will spill, whose heart will break
Who'll be the last to die for our mistake

The wise men were all fools
What to do

The sun sets in flames as the city burns
Another day gone down as the night turns
And I hold you here in my heart
As things fall apart


(Another very poignant, very appropriate song for where Obi-Wan and Padmé are right now. They both blame themselves for Anakin's fall, believing that it was their fault/mistake that they didn't catch on to the signs that he was headed for trouble - since, after all, he was their friend. Plus, Obi-Wan wonders how many lives could have been saved and how much pain could have been prevented if he'd killed Vader on Mustafar. Hence "who'll be the last to die for our mistake.")

Rain, Tax (It's Inevitable)
I did not know there was a plan
Somewhere a perfect man
I don't believe in the stars
Then you smiled at my pretense
As you broke down my defenses
Just want to be where you are

Love ain't like fashion
The look remains the same
I'll wear your heart forever
'Cause some things never change

Like rain, tax
After lightning the thunder cracks
(It's inevitable)
Sooner or later it had to come true
Like rain, tax
Weeds grow up through the pavement cracks
(It's inevitable)
You see what I want
What I want is you

Thought that life was logical
Love was a miracle
That happened to someone else, not me


1234 - Feist
One, two, three, four
Tell me that you love me more
Sleepless long nights
That is what my youth was for

Old teenage hopes are alive at your door
Left you with nothing but they want some more

Oh, you're changing your heart
Oh, You know who you are

Sweetheart bitterheart now I can't tell you apart
Cosy and cold, put the horse before the cart

Those teenage hopes who have tears in their eyes
Too scared to own up to one little lie

Oh, you're changing your heart
Oh, you know who you are

One, two, three, four, five, six, nine, or ten
Money can't buy you back the love that you had then
One, two, three, four, five, six, nine, or ten
Money can't buy you back the love that you had then


A New Day Has Come - Celine Dion
I was waiting for so long
For a miracle to come
Everyone told me to be strong
Hold on and don't shed a tear

Through the darkness and good times
I knew I'd make it through
And the world thought I had it all
But I was waiting for you

Hush now

I see a light in the sky
Oh, it's almost blinding me
I can't believe
I've been touched by an angel with love

Let the rain come down and wash away my tears
Let it fill my soul and drown my fears
Let it shatter the walls for a new, new sun

A new day has... come

Where it was dark now there's light
Where there was pain now there's joy
Where there was weakness, I found my strength
All in the eyes of a boy


(Padmé's feelings after the twins' birth.)

The Old Apartment - Barenaked Ladies
Broke into the old apartment
This is where we used to live
Broken glass, broke and hungry
Broken hearts and broken bones
This is where we used to live

Why did you paint the walls?
Why did you clean the floor?
Why did you plaster over the hole I punched in the door?
This is where we used to live

Why did you keep the mousetrap?
Why did you keep the dishrack?
these things used to be mine
I guess they still are, I want them back

Broke into the old apartment
Forty-two stairs from the street
Crooked landing, crooked landlord
Narrow laneway filled with crooks
This is where we used to live

Why did they pave the lawn?
why did they change the locks?
Why did I have to break it, I only came here to talk
This is where we used to live

How is the neighbour downstairs?
How is her temper this year?
I turned up your TV and stomped on the floor just for fun
I know we don't live here anymore
We bought an old house on the Danforth
She loves me and her body keeps me warm
I'm happy here
But this is where we used to live


When The Wrong One Loves You Right - Celine Dion
I don't care what they think
How they feel, or what they say
You're everything I ever knew
I always wanted, baby
I've been warned so many times
They tell me I've ignored the signs

But nobody knows you like I do
The only one for me is you

Getting tired of hearing that
You're dangerous, but they won't stop
Until I leave they won't believe
That being with you won't break my heart
Not worried 'bout the road ahead
They can't see that, you're my best friend

They're never gonna take me from you
There's nothing they can do

How can I walk away
When the feeling's so strong
I know you're where I belong
They say I let my heart
Make up my mind
That's why I'll never say goodbye


In the Morning - Junior Boys
Girl the night's not over (Oh, too young)
We're not getting older
They can chase forever
'Cause in the morning there's a million names to choose from
You don't care just take one
Leave a place to rest on
Because you're too young

Yeah you're too young
Oh you're too young
You're too young


Wild Child - Enya
Ever close your eyes.
Ever stop and listen.
Ever feel alive.
And you've nothing missing.
You don't need a reason
Let the day go on and on.

Let the rain fall down.
Everywhere around you
Give into it now.
Let the day surround you
You don't need a reason
Let the rain go on and on

What a day, what a day to take to
What a way, what a way to make it through.
What a day, what a day to take to a wild child

Only take the time.
From the helter skelter.
Every day you find.
Everything's in kilter.
You don't need a reason.
Let the day go on and on

Every summer sun,
Every winter evening.
Every spring to come
Every autumn leaving.
You don't need a reason
Let it all go on and on.


Street Fighting Man - Rolling Stones
Evrywhere I hear the sound of marching, charging feet, boy
Cause summer's here and the time is right for fighting in the street, boy
But what can a poor boy do
Except to sing for a rock n roll band
cause in sleepy london town
There's just no place for a street fighting man
No

Hey! think the time is right for a palace revolution
But where I live the game to play is compromise solution
Well, then what can a poor boy do
Except to sing for a rock n roll band
Cause in sleepy london town
There's no place for a street fighting man
No


Devil's Arcade - Bruce Springsteen
Remember the morning we dug up your gun
The worms in the barrel, the hanging sun
Those first nervous evenings of perfume and gin
The lost smell on your breath as I helped you get it in
The rush of your lips, the feel of your name
The beat in your heart, the devil's arcade

You said "Heroes are needed, so heroes get made"
Somebody made a bet, somebody paid
The cool desert morning and nothing to save
Just metal and plastic where your body caved
The slow games of poker with Lieutenant Ray
In the ward with the blue walls, a sea with no name
Where you lie adrift with the heroes of the devil's arcade

On a morning to order a breakfast to make
A bed draped in sunshine, a body that waits
For the touch of your fingers, the end of the day
The beat of your heart, the beat of her heart
The beat of your heart, the slow burning away
Of the bitter fires of the devil's arcade


(This song = the Clone Wars. Heh.)

10,000 Miles - Mary Chapin Carpenter
Fare thee well
My own true love
Farewell for a while
I’m going away
But I’ll be back
Though I go 10,000 miles
10,000 miles
My own true love
10,000 miles or more
The rocks may melt
And the seas may burn
If I should not return
Oh don’t you see
That lonesome dove
Sitting on an ivy tree
She’s weeping for
Her own true love
As I shall weep for mine
Oh come ye back
My own true love
And stay a while with me
If I had a friend
All on this earth
You’ve been a friend to me


(Basically this is Obi-Wan's emotional journey, from the time he leaves Padmé's apartment for Utapau to the time when he's eventually able to look at his situation with some degree of equanimity. I actually didn't even realize that the first few times I listened to it, but then something clicked and I went "OH!" Heh.)



You'll notice not all of the songs have explanations at the bottom; that's either because explaining them would be too spoilery for future portions of the fic or because they simply apply to the Obi-Wan/Padmé ship. So don't worry of the inclusion of some of these seem to make no sense - it will in time.

And if you actually got through all that, I think you deserve a medal. Bwah.
Tags: fic: to ignite the stars, obi-wan/padmé, star wars, writing
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